Realizing you’re anxious only when it’s too late

In mid-January, I was invited to speak at a panel at the American Booksellers Association’s Winter Institute, a conference for independent booksellers. Because I ended up funding my business through various atypical means, I sat with two others and talked to the audience about nontraditional business financing.

I was feeling a little run down the day of the panel, but not particularly worked up or nervous. My migraine had been teasing me off and on for a couple of days, but it hadn’t settled in and I hadn’t had to take any medications to control it. It just hung out on the periphery, letting me know it would jump in at any moment if I made the wrong move. So I drank plenty of water, made sure to eat well, and felt pretty sure I could keep it at bay.

While on the panel, which lasted for about 1.5 hours, I think I was well-prepared and didn’t have any major flubs. I was doing well and wasn’t sweaty-palmed or shaky. But as we got farther into our discussion, I noticed that my body temperature felt slightly elevated and that my neck was a little uncomfortable. By the time we wrapped things up a little before 6 PM, I felt decidedly worse. No headache or nausea, thankfully, but ill at ease and tense all the same.

About a week later, I went to a meeting of community organizers and, after speaking to the group a handful of times about my points of view, I could feel that same heat creeping up on me. By the time I walked out of the evening meeting, I felt really hot and my neck was achy again. A migraine was sneaking up on me just as it had tried to when I was at the booksellers conference

So what gives here? Is public speaking a trigger for me? I am guessing I should engage in some mindful meditation or light cardio before I next have to speak to a group. It’s feasible that I am continuing a pattern I had as a child and teenager, where I wasn’t aware I was stressed until I actually got ill with migraine. Does anyone out there have a story similar to this? Do you get nervous or anxious without being fully aware of it? If so, how do you cope with it?

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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