When I struggle to find empathy for other migraineurs

Last updated: October 2012

I must confess something: I am not the best caretaker for fellow migraineurs. It’s not something I like about myself, but it’s the ugly truth.

Unless they are caring for an immediate family member with frequent migraines, this isn’t an issue that comes up very often for migraine sufferers. But I have somehow fallen in love with a man who has regular migraine attacks, and I have found that there seems to be a time limit to my ability to care for him with true compassion.

If Jim is sick for longer than a day, I find myself becoming more and more short with him. Can he really not just get up and get his own snack? Does he need to sleep all day? Suddenly all the things I try to explain to people about many of my migraine attacks—the drowsiness, the inability to move, the sensitivity to stimulae, and more—seem overdramatic in someone else, even the person I love and adore.

I have to consciously remind myself to exercise patience and loving kindness.

Do any of you ever find that you should be the sympathetic one but instead are becoming impatient or exasperated? How do you deal with this conundrum? I sure could use your tips and recommendations, cause I’m tired of my lack of empathy in a situation I above everyone else should truly understand.

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