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The love of my life is sacrificing her happiness for my health. Help?

The love of my life has decided she was going to go into the military so I still have good insurance even though she really doesn’t want to. She cries about it and says she just wants a normal life but she says she can’t because she has to take care of me and my chronic migraines that leave me bedridden most of the year.

Her sacrificing her happiness for my health isn’t right but I don’t know what to do. I need help and advice please.

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  1. Uff, that is a heavy burden for both of you to bear, ChronicPain247. I hear what a strain it is placing on your relationship. Have you sat down together when you are having an okayish moment to talk though how you each are feeling? Living as you do with severe chronic migraine that often leaves you bedridden it may be more challenging, but would it be possible to meet with a couples counselor to help you both work though your feelings together and find your footing as you approach the future? Setting off down a path where you both may harbor feelings of guilt or resentment could be damaging to the long-term health of your relationship. You both clearly love each other and want what is best for each other. I hope through time and communication you can find your way through to a place where you can both achieve a sense of peace for whatever comes next. Wishing you a gentle day. ~Allyson (Migraine.com team)

    1. If neither of you wants her to join the military, it seems you have answered your own question.

      It is difficult, but there are many paths to financial security and health insurance.

      Please have an honest discussion with each other about this. Cry through most of it as needed, but have the conversation as soon as possible.

      Even if the job was being an accountant, but neither of you wanted it, you should talk about it and reach a joint decision.

      Joint does not mean you agree. Maybe you agree to disagree.

      As someone married for over 15yrs, I implore you to do have open and honest dialog with each other before making any decision that will affect you both (exceptions: small gifts, happy surprises, etc)

      As a veteran, I emplore you to find income and healthcare in civilian occupations. Other military personnel or veterans may feel otherwise. Only the two of you can decide what is best for your family.

      My hugs and best wishes for you with your condition and with your decisions.

      Please keep in touch with us here.

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