My Neurological Domino Effect

Growing up, I never really paid attention to my neurological woes. I never even really felt different until either a friend, or my parents, would approach me, and say that I’ve been making weird faces. I would look at them in disbelief, unsure of what they meant. Don’t all boys have tics? Doesn’t everybody fidget without control, and get worse with anxiety? Wasn’t I normal?

Is migraine my only neurological condition?

I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect neurologist my whole life. Somebody who can help me from top to bottom with all of my weird, quirky, and downright painful neurological conditions. See, I’m not just your average migraine boy. That wasn’t the only quiver in my cool neurological sheath. But rather one of several conditions that make me unique! Or at least, that’s how I’ve come to look at it as of very, very recently.

Are all of my issues related?

I used to think that I had a handful of unrelated issues that could all be treated differently! That I could go to a doctor, get medication for targeted issues, and resolve them one by one, but my recent trip to the doctor has proven that wish to be a tad more naive than I’d wish to admit. It was quite the endeavor to get this specialist in the first place.

Attention parents! Please get your kids tested and examined for every little quirk beforehand. It will save them so much time and anxiety later in life when they have to scramble and wait in 3-6-12 month chunks for appointments, assessments, and evaluations for very present and painful issues! Thank youuuu.

What does my new doctor have to say?

My new doctor proceeds to suggest that in order to tackle my anxiety, which is a huge trigger for most of my migraine attacks, that we should get help with my focus and prescribe ADD medication. That reconstituted attention can help lower my anxiety and prevent further episodes in the future.

Do triggers have a domino effect?

I hadn’t even considered that one trigger could lead to another, which could lead to another, which is why I’m writing about this in the first place!

What is my newest migraine trigger?

I’ve developed a tic that has been triggering migraines. It’s this stupid tic where I’ve just been clenching my jaw. I can’t help it and try to stop it, but I just can’t. My body has this compulsion that’s quite clinically obsessive to continue and present itself as a movement. Tics are often hand gestures, eye twitches, or even shouts when extreme. But my cool little one has started giving me head pain - tremendous headman. I’ve had to medicate myself almost every day, which didn’t happen before.

How is my anxiety connected?

Everything is connected. My anxiety can outright trigger my migraine, which makes my tics worse, which is now also directly giving me migraine pain. The kind of throbbing pain which comes all too familiar to me.

How does it all make me feel?

It’s just so frustrating. I feel like I’m a sinking ship, wherein every time I plug a leak, another one pops up in a different spot. I want to regulate everything, to gather all of these now interconnected neurological issues in a huge net and haul them off to relief land, but as it stands, I have to wait 5 months before my next appointment.

Just breathe. It’ll come to pass. It’ll be over soon. It always is! I’ve waited 26 years to see if I have ADD/ADHD/Tourette's, so maybe 5 months isn’t the worst thing. If migraine has taught me anything, it’s that living with frustration is normal. And I have lots of experience with that!