When The Home Life Needs Balance
In relationships with two healthy partners and relationships with a sick partner, it is easy for one individual to seem to bear the brunt of everything. Sometimes it is as simple as the other individual failing to realize that they are not doing their part, while at other times it much more complicated than that.
It takes two (or more)
One person does not make all of the dirty laundry or the dirty dishes; therefore it should not fall to one individual to try to manage cleaning up all of the household mess. The household chores can quickly become overwhelming by the time one tries to manage dusting, cleaning the floors, doing the laundry and dishes, picking up the random items that were not put up when they were done being used, cleaning up after children or pets, preparing meals, and everything else that goes in hand with managing a household. Things are so much easier when everybody takes an active role in maintaining the household together.
Don’t let it build up - discuss it
When it starts to become an issue, it is time to talk about it. Regardless if it is the caregiver needing more help from the individual with chronic migraine or the other way around. The longer the situation continues to fester, the more frustrating and hostile the individual trying to manage everything will become with their significant other. By attempting to ignore the situation, it is easy for the affected individual to begin to feel unappreciated or like they are simply the household maid. These are all very simple issues to avoid but they are also issues that can only be addressed if they are brought up with the other individuals in the household. By no means am I saying it is an easy conversation to have with the rest of the household, but definitely a necessary one. I learned a phrase from my mother at young age in regarding a completely different situation that fits this situation 100%; her phrase was “superwoman has crashed into a burning building and died.” This was not meant to be crude but a simple way of saying that she could not do everything on her own and she needed help from her other half to manage everything in the household. Sometimes even superwoman or superman cannot do it all alone.
Find what works for your household
Some people prefer to do certain chores over others. Personally I dislike them all, but I know they have to be done since my dogs obviously ate the little fairies or birds that come through and help clean up like in the Cinderella movie! If you do not want to set particular chores, rotate them off. As long as all parties learn to see what needs to be done and takes the initiative to actually handle the chore, instead of ignoring it waiting on somebody else to come through and complete the task. No offense to men, but in my experience sometimes you just specifically have to ask men to help with whichever tasks need to be done. By no means do I mean approach this with a hateful or frustrated tone, simply ask can you get this load of laundry washed and dried today while you’re home, etc.
Most definitely a happy life starts with having a good sense of balance in as many aspects as possible. Due to our medical conditions, we can find ourselves feeling off balanced sometimes. This is why it is even more important for us to be able to address the balancing of housework responsibilities at home with those within our household. We all need time to rest and decompress at the end of the day and this is not something somebody can manage if they are attempting to handle all of the household responsibilities on their own. Do not be afraid to speak up for yourself, regardless if you are the caregiver or the individual with migraine, and make sure you get all of the help you need to make the situation work for you as well.
Is this something that you struggle with in your household? How to you face this challenge with the other members of your family unit?
Which are you most sensitive to?