Sometimes I Just Don’t Feel Well, and I Don’t Know Why
This is a hard one to write because I feel like I’m describing something nebulous that I hardly ever mention to people. But I figured I’d give it a try because if any community would understand, it’s this one! What I’m about to describe isn’t a typical migraine attack as far as science and doctors say, and so I’m curious if others who experience migraine have felt this bizarre sensation as well.
My attempt to describe this foggy physical sensation
Sometimes I just don’t feel well. I feel a bit achy, especially in parts of my body that are overtired, like my neck and back.
I feel sleepy in the way you might feel if you’ve taken some heavy cough medicine. This sleepiness comes like a fog obscuring but not blinding my brain. It feels like trying to fill up a leaky cup. My emotions get a little raw—things that wouldn’t stress me out when I feel like my regular self can easily pick at my nerves.
How these unexplained symptoms come and go
These unexplained symptoms can last a few days or sometimes drag on longer. It can start from simply being overtired or possibly fighting off a cold or virus. Sometimes I get a mild sore throat, but no overt cold or flu symptoms.
After a while, whatever the sensation is has run its course and drops off. The relief can arrive suddenly in the afternoon of a day that started with me feelingcompletely unwell.
The restorative tools I've used to cope
First, I have to indulge heavily a bit on the toxic medicine of sleep. To cope, I take the day in stages, hoping for a chance at even a small respite so I can carry on with whatever is needed. A nap might help me get through. When these unexplained symptoms peak, I dial down my usual energetic exercise routine and instead do some restorative yoga to help melt the aches a bit.
Why this full-body experience remains a medical mystery
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few years ago, but I know that term can mean many things. In addition, my pain is mild—unlike many I've spoken to with fibro.
The events also don’t quite fit the profile of a standard migraine. I often wonder if the nature of what I’m experiencing is autoimmune, as it feels like my body is allocating extra resources to fight something.
I’ve seen many doctors and had many medical tests. I do not want to list them all here for the sake of brevity and privacy, but none have indicated any abnormalities to be concerned about. I know there is no standard blood test for migraine, and migraine is certainly real. Whatever this other experience is feels just as real, even if it doesn't show up on diagnostic tests.
Where to go from here
For a while, I was obsessed with finding an answer. I read medical journals, scoured blogs, tracked my symptoms, and took the issue from doctor to doctor. But partially because that got me nowhere (and stressed me out!), and also because I do enjoy plenty of periods where I feel just fine, I've mostly dropped the issue.
I wonder if medical science will be able to identify the problem in my lifetime. My husband calls it "Lisa Disease," and that is probably the best diagnosis I'll ever get. Have you had this experience?
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