Migraine Pill Popping

As an actor, or ‘attention seeking guy who also memorizes lines’ as we’re sometimes referred to, it’s sometimes assumed that we don’t face generalized anxiety. I mean these are people who bathe in the limelight and won’t shy away from a camera or seven, right?

Anxious about migraine in public

WRONG, kinda. I was, pretty recently, diagnosed with GAD. I’ve felt anxieties in the past, like a normal person, or so I had thought. Anxiety takes up a decent part of my life, like a drunk ol’ sea captain who tries, with clumsy attempts, to regain his ship after a mutiny. If you were to ask me, before a live performance, hey Sawyer, where is your stomach? It’s probably fallen down so deep inside of me that I’d probably have to get out a flashlight. Not even the Chilean Miners could get out of this hole.

My nerves do often get the best of me, so the idea of migraines in public, naturally, terrifies me. If I’m not already in the zone, like mid-sword fight choreography call for Hamlet, worrying about a migraine-strike mid-LIFE is worrisome, to say the least.

What about my rescue meds?

My naproxen sodium, Relpax, or a menagerie of triptans, are all well and good, but what do I do when I want to take them… in public? What am I supposed to do?

I used to take a single rescue pill and hide it in the breast pocket of my frock coat (fancy?) so if I ever felt something nasty, I could save myself. But in summer, of course, I can't wear a woolen coat! Plus, living in the high-risk sanitized world we do currently, the idea of pulling a single naked white pill out of my pocket and taking it, no explanation, in front of friends, makes me want to curl up into a ball and fall into the ocean.

I'm not a drug abuser

Being tied to one seems like such a burden in a culture so stigmatized by ‘rampant' drug usage. Perhaps it’s the anxieties talking; judgmental people getting into my head.

I’ve had my fair share of toxic and discouraging people in my life discredit science and try and shame me for medicating myself. We live in such a cynical society that the least we can do is whatever it takes to feel, good; ourselves.

Maybe it’s not about how I discreetly take migraine medication, but rather, that I do and with pride. I don’t want people feeling bad for me, nor that they need to walk on eggshells with what activities I can and can’t be a part of.

It's not something to hide

Something that everybody struggles with, especially with conditions that others might not understand. Migraine, let alone medication, isn’t something to hide from. It’s something we all deal with. Hopefully, the people around us understand enough to not think twice about our pill habits.

The further out that knowledge goes, that understanding of mental and physical health and the need of those orange pill bottles, it may lead to a time where we don’t need to find discreet ways to pop our pills. Or maybe, it’s just me and it turns out that I’m scared of like, everything!

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