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The Messy Wake of Destruction a Migraine Can Leave Behind

The Messy Wake of Destruction a Migraine Can Leave Behind

Has this ever happened to you?

You emerge from a multi-day migraine, finally able to leave your bedroom, finally able to even consider returning to work—if not today, then tomorrow. The pain has dissipated for the most part, and you are hopeful that today is the day the migraine really does break and lift, at least for awhile.

Facing utter destruction

You walk into the other rooms of your house and are greeted with utter destruction. There are dirty glasses lining the kitchen counter, half-eaten microwaveable meals you thought you were feeling well enough to eat (until they made you so nauseated you had to either lie down immediately or go be sick in the bathroom), and dirty dishes everywhere.  The living room isn’t much better—your extra pillow and afghan are on the couch, a forgotten magazine and spilled glass of water on the floor.  You had settled in yesterday afternoon on the couch, thinking you were starting to feel better—you were wrong.

Longer migraine attack, bigger mess

It’s amazing how the house just seems to fall apart when migraine beats you down. The longer and more severe the attack, the worse the fallout. The place looks like what you imagine a frat house might look like—okay, a frat house lived in by cleaner-than-usual college boys, but still. It’s a mess.

Now that you look at everything, you sort of remember how things got this way. How you climbed off the couch after abandoning your magazine (you fell asleep reading an article that normally would be pretty interesting for you). How you kicked the glass of water over with your foot but your head was throbbing so intensely you just didn’t care.

You remember being in the kitchen and deliberately abandoning your barely-touched food, knowing that if you left it out the cat might get to it or—worse—that ants or roaches might find it in the night. You just didn’t care.

Stress of the clean up

If you live alone, you know that you are the only one who is responsible for cleaning all of this up. If you live with a partner, roommate, or family, you know you’re placing an undue burden on them when it comes to cleanup (or you know that they’ll leave the mess for you to clean up later, which might get you down in an entirely different way).

Have you ever felt so crappy that you don’t even care about the temporary physical destruction of your living space? (Leaving behind emotional and relational destruction is an entirely different topic…) Have you caught yourself knocking things over, leaving a total mess in your wake, and not being able to muster up any concern about it all because the migraine took up 100% of your attention?

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • tjbtaylor9
    1 year ago

    Me- married, kids have all moved out. Yep, I feel like my house looks like the inside of a goat’s stomach every time I go down. No, I don’t care when the tornado hits even though I know what I’ll be facing once I’m able to bail. My DH’s arms can’t seem to reach into the dishwater and he developed amnesia when we got married! Cooking- I can’t cook. TV dinners- I don’t like them he says So I triage, use paper plates, force him to choke down his supper and a house keeper- bless her- cleans every two weeks. You’re not alone. My advice? Toss everything in your house that you don’t use or don’t love. The less “stuff”; the less mess.

  • mammapeaches (Susan McManus)
    1 year ago

    Janet, you got me laughing with this article. Thank you!!! After years of being chronic, my entire house is a mess. I just do the necessities. I have been feeling better as of late, but every time I think I can tackle a room, it’s just too overwhelming.

    I find that I’m super clumsy during an attack so I’m constantly dropping things or walking into walls!! FYI: cleaning broken eggs off kitchen floor when your practically in tears is DIFFICULT!!!

    Thanks for all you do ❤️

  • Birth Doula
    6 months ago

    Chiming in late. My house is a disaster zone. Would love to have someone in to clean, but they can’t get to the surfaces.

    As for cleaning up eggs: try pouring a generous amount of salt on the mess. After a few minutes you can almost sweep it up, then clean the remains with a wet paper towel or two. Can’t remember where I learned this, but I do it, migraine or no!!

  • Carolelaine
    1 year ago

    There s a pile of pots and pans in my kitchen right now. I don’t stay in bed during my migraine attacks for several reasons. I have back and neck issues and do better in an upright position and, I will have a panic attack if I try to stay in or go back to bed. It’s a battle I’ve been fighting for years and best left to another type of support site. I spend my time is my small cozy den, making forays into the kitchen for water or a bite to eat. My husband is wonderful, but he works at least 60 hours a week and I just can’t ask him to do more than he already does. I try to prioritize, if I only have enough energy to do one thing and I don’t have clean sock, then it’s laundry. When I’m feeling well, I cook and freeze things so that I can just pop them in the oven for dinner. Things get done when they get done, I’ve stopped worrying about things not getting done.

  • litoria76
    1 year ago

    Very true… Also include the bruises you can’t remember when or how they happened (i can only deduce happened while stumbling around in the dark during a migraine attack)!

  • tjbtaylor9
    1 year ago

    I’m always concerned that I’ll be out somewhere, get hit with one of those migraines and will be arrested for being “drunk” cause I stagger when I walk and slur my speech and don’t understand people.

    I’ve got so many bruises that someone actually asked me if my husband beats me!

    Migraines are really hard and everyone I know think all I have is headaches.

  • litoria76
    1 year ago

    I know it’s gross but due to chronic migraine and feeling exhausted all the time i wind up only having the energy to shower once a week or sometimes two. I hardly ever leave the house so I don’t have much contact with others. I’m ashamed of this but between the migraine and postdrome I’m just too tired. Cleaning up the house is also a huge chore which doesn’t get done as often as it should…

  • redsox72
    2 years ago

    I can relate! After 3 straight days of a migraine from hell, I manage to take a shower and then see dishes, clothes, you name it – everywhere. But the pain was gone! And every single time I think that this migraine will respond to the first pill and I’ll be up and be functioning, only to be screaming and banging my head onto the corner of the dresser or digging my fingernails into my scalp for three days. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

  • jobee7
    2 years ago

    So very true.

  • shelleysqrd
    2 years ago

    I’m one of the fortunate ones in that I have a husband who cleans up after himself and often after me. I never try to eat during my migraines-the nausea is just too intense and yes, I’ve spilled water and left it there. I leave the bed only to use the bathroom so that leaves my poor husband with a mess of a bed to crawl into. I’m also not even able to get into the shower for days. That makes me really special to be around. Everything is put on hold including cleaning the litter box which he won’t do. Life in limbo…

  • SouthernUtahGal
    3 years ago

    I am a single mom with 2 girls. Sometimes I come out of a bad migraine and the house is complete disaster. I have a hard time keeping up with things when I’m not really bad with migraine, but when they hit it’s an impossible situation. I am not around to remind them to pick up this or do that, so they don’t. Very frustrating. I can really relate to this topic!

  • tjbtaylor9
    1 year ago

    Treat yourself gently. I was a single mom of two for eighteen years. Can you ask someone to help you out?

  • Brooke H moderator
    3 years ago

    Hi SouthernUtahGal – Thank you for sharing. Managing parenting 2 children on your own as well as managing migraine is very challenging! Please know that you are not alone. There are many here who are parenting while living with migraine. You may be interested in checking out this article by one of our contributors: https://migraine.com/blog/how-can-i-keep-parenting-during-a-migraine/. Please share here anytime! Brooke (Migraine.com team)

  • MahtaMouse
    3 years ago

    Ugh! Today I’m finally coming off a 6 day 24hr non-stop ice-pick headache. Every time I moved my eye a fraction, the pain in my already sore eye would radiate up the nerve and into the ice-pick where it would STAB right into my brain. This was triggered by trying to water my yard in bright sunshine without sunglasses and hat during a blessed week of no migraines (stupid! stupid! stupid!). So now what do I get up to this a.m.? Dirty dishes, a bathroom that could almost rival that of a gas station if not for the aforementioned 7 day reprieve during which I DID manage to clean the tub, sink and toilet… and, carpets and floors that haven’t been vacuumed or swept in a month due to the 28+ day migraine and subsequent exhaustion I’d had, before the ice-pick took over. I’m tired and slightly headache-y and my usual MO is to just lay low due to exhaustion; but due to a certain naggy, neurotic, demanding individual, I was forced to go full steam ahead today. Outside. In the sun. All day. So now my head has that vague pain indicating another migraine may be on it’s way. And my house still looks like a hell hole. But, my dishes are finally done and my patient kitty’s box is scooped.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    3 years ago

    Hi MahataMouse, we’re glad to hear that you’re feeling better and hope that the vague pain fades away. Maybe it’s time to curl up with patient kitty and check in with perhaps a local church for a recommendation for an intermittent cleaner. (In my younger days, many moons ago, I used to do some cleaning for disabled members of a local church). Some of the more well-known cleaning companies also offer one-time or intermittent services, as well as low-VOC cleaning products if you have scent triggers.

    Thanks for being part of the community and for sharing your thoughts. Give patient kitty a scratch for me! -All Best, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • Lizzie
    3 years ago

    This happens to me also, can’t get out of bed, leave pots unwashed, I don’t wash for days. Glasses of water on the bedside table, discarded medication packaging, my pet cat does keep me company, she seems to know when I am ill. My migraines have deteriorated over the past year, my boyfriend of four years plus, reckoned it was for the best that I get on with it alone, we did not live together, he has now taken up with a much much younger women. To be honest, think I can cope much better without him. It was an added strain, I definitely was a burden to him. Now I just do things at my own pace, it still hurts though, but the feeling of relief enables me to recover at my own pace , I am considering a cleaner, once a month.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    3 years ago

    Hi Lizzie, cats are wonderful nurses! I’m glad that you have found ways to be gentle with yourself. Thanks for being here and sharing your thoughts! -Cheers, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • BayouTigress
    3 years ago

    Yes, absolutely. And at some point I will slowly straighten up and put things where they go, load the dish washer and do laundry. But the regular cleaning of bathrooms and kitchen, mopping, etc, I have hired out. Yes the person who comes in to clean sees my house at a lot less than perfect condition. But that is a much better option than the stress of trying to clean! And no guilt associated with asking hubby to pick up even more household chores when I am out of comission. And I try to know longer feel guilty about ordering food delivered or stocking up on pre prepared food at the local grocery when a migriane is building. I am to the point where “I gotta do whata I gotta do” to de stress, simplify, and have a comfy cocoon ready for the bad days. Otherwise I don’t make the most of the migraine free days. That is what I have to focus on, making the most out of the migriane free days. What tools, methods, processes, changes, etc do I need to make, do, implement to make the most of my migraine free days? Even if only small things. One thing at a time. This is my current “How to stay sane with a constant migraine” plan of attack.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    3 years ago

    Hi, BayouTigress, thanks so much for sharing your encouraging words with the community! You seem to have a really great system worked out to take care of your family and yourself. You words put the concept of “being gentle with yourself” in a really lovely frame.

    Thanks for being part of the community, we’re glad you’re here! -All Best, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • Jen Cragen
    3 years ago

    I get so tired of being so sick and not being able to do my part. My partner says that I am doing the best I can, and still I have guilt that I didn’t do x while also being really sick.

    How do others get over the guilt?

  • Gto
    3 years ago

    I feel same way . Am lucky to have understanding wife that keeps everything in order. Takes kids back and forth to their friends or activity they are in. I feel so guilty of not being able to do my part, have been off work now for several,months due to chronic migraines…often just when I think ” ok , migraines gone, another episode begins” ….is back to bed taking medication praying will work . If not it is then trip to hospital ER for more powerful treatment. Many friends, relatives say just try get thru it…will be ok, but am definitely not ok…other than this forum I I know of nobody that suffers way imdo. Getting back to my duties, literally kills me that am forced to bedroom or hospital while others enjoy their life. Sorry for being so depressing but honestly pray ther was some way could return to resonate I used to be.

  • ejcc
    3 years ago

    My closet takes a hit during episodes of pain. Everthing is on the floor no energy to hang it. I dont wear makeup to work i sont brush my hair and i could care less about my appearance. When i comenoutnof it days later its amazing how i have aged. Wrinkles deeoer dark circles under my eyes my clothes hang on me. Not pretty

  • redsox72
    2 years ago

    Years ago our landlord showed up unannounced and when I answered the door, she didn’t recognize me. Migraines add years to my face.

  • pigeongirl
    3 years ago

    i clean up, after me, sooner or later, but cannot clean up after kids husband and pets, and have ‘Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome’ too- and don’t really care anymore! because the special people come anyways! and they don’t judge me! my husband has his own problems and kids are kids- but they can all do more than i can and choose not to- yet many look to ‘woman/mom’ for the condition of the house- boo to them! even if you live alone and it is all your mess-well so what if it’s messy? it’s not killing anyone.

    i have celiac and other food intolerance’s and for me, keeping the kitchen clean (where my food touches) is vital, and the rest isn’t hurting anyone! if you can let it not bother you- do, and those it bothers? can help, or ignore it, or go away!

  • Karen Rudd
    3 years ago

    CHAOS- hubby loves the acronym, and wishes he’d thought of it. Such an accurate definition of our house most of the time.as the years passed and as ‘chronic’ morphed into ‘constant’ less and less got done. I struggle to keep up with kitchen and bathroom mess, in addition to laundry and litter box obligations. I used to be a much neater person, but have to settle now for what I can do,. Dusting? Vacuuming? Mopping? When I can only.

  • Tess2
    3 years ago

    yep. I have a hard time vacuuming, because of the noise. It’s so high pitched and shrill sometimes. Somedays when the sun is shining in, I’ll catch a glimpse of the cat hair in corners. ugh. I know the cat hair is not good for allergies/ headache…but I am NOT willing to give her up. The comfort she brings me during headachy times far outweighs the thought of not having her!

  • DonnaFA moderator
    3 years ago

    Hi Tess2! I’m a cat person, too, and they definitely do bring so much comfort. My kitty seems to know the bad days, and she becomes extra cuddly.

    Some of our members have used noise-cancelling headphones and seem to have had great results. They may be helpful to you to make the vacuum noise manageable. Check out Turn it down! (and the great conversation that follows), Community Responses -Your Go-To Essentials During a Migraine and Creating a Migraine Cave.

    Thanks for being part of the community and sharing your thoughts! -All Best, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • GrassRootsMomma
    3 years ago

    I’m forever looking at my house, and wondering just when did it get this bad. I could blame it on husband and kids, but that would be unfair, since husband takes on most of the cooking and the kids do their share to help out. It’s happened because the migraine destruction has come through, and left disaster in its wake. *sigh*

  • deborahvan-der-harst
    3 years ago

    This story really resonated with in terms of my condo being in need of a deep cleaning, and the services of a professional,organizer. FlyLady calls it CHAOS (can’t have anyone over syndrome). My husband and I look like borderline hoarders because he does most of the cleaning and cooking. There’s a lot more that needs to be done. Laundry is always 8 or 9 loads even after we do 8 loads. I would love to hire someone to help us clean our home, However, I would be too embarrassed for a cleaning crew to see our filthy, disorganized home. I’m too sick to clean and my husband works full-time. I never open my door when someone knock unless I’m expecting them. I have no social life, I’ve dropped all my hobbies and outdoor activities because they trigger migraines. I went from athlectic to a fat, flabby couch potato. I should go ahead and get the house cleaning and organizing that I need help with so that I can feel tranquil in my living space. They’ve probably seen everything anyway.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    3 years ago

    Hi deborahvan! FlyLady makes things manageable, broken down into bite-sized chunks. But the problem is the days when even that small chunk is too much to tackle. Please know you’re not alone here, this is a topic that has had lots of discussion in the community.

    Help (Not) Wanted talks about overcoming that reluctance to ask for help, and about creating an action plan to make it relatively stress-free to get the help you need and deserve. Hiring a house cleaner-a justifiable healthcare cost? brings up some interesting points and have a really robust conversation that follows. And finally, We Need a Maid talks about being gentle with yourself.

    You’re not alone in what you are experiencing, and how you feel about it. We’re always here to help if we can, to share info, or just to listen. Thanks for being here, and for sharing with us. -All Best, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • Cyndi Hackett
    3 years ago

    Oh my stars! I am sooooo with all of you! 🙂 I have an upstairs room that I’ve been trying to organize for 4 years. Between going away for work and migraines (and their wake!)… That room looks worse now, than when I started. 🙁

    Just a thought, do any of you have friends/neighbors that you could barter with for cleaning help? Whether it be $, food, or some craft that you make…

  • Tess2
    3 years ago

    haha! I have a “catch all” room too. I don’t even care. I just shut the door, and when it gets out of control…I tackle it.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    3 years ago

    That’s a great idea, Tess2, thanks for sharing! I keep empty bins on my shelves for the same reason. I can tuck things into the bins to deal with when I’m more able to deal with it. They keep the visual aspect of the room organized because having things out of place is stressful. -All Best, Donna(Migraine.com team)

  • GrassRootsMomma
    3 years ago

    I’m the same place! I’ve got a couple rooms that I’m working on – we rearranged and so stuff got shifted – and it’s beginning to feel like I’m never going to get these rooms organized… or even just less horrible feeling. Bleh.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    3 years ago

    Hi Cyndi! Wow, that’s a fabulous idea, thanks for sharing! It’s great when we have friends we can network with, but don’t despair if you don’t know a lot of people in your neighborhood with whom you can share services. There are lots of communities popping up online like Simbi and NextDoor that allow you to barter services, or find unique items in your area. You can Google “Barter services” to find the one that feels best to you. -All Best, Donna(Migraine.com team)

  • Robbin in LA
    3 years ago

    Do I ever relate to this. My bedroom shares a wall with my kitchen, so my family does no dishes at all while I’m down. In fact they don’t even close the cabinet doors! My only child who understood how to cook for me has left home, which means I pretty much do without. Yep, surveying the house after a multi-day migraine just makes me go lie down on the couch.

  • Kippieloo
    3 years ago

    Thank you, Migraine Girl!
    I’m not in the running for the Betty Crocker Housekeeper of the Year, but I do try to keep things in some semblance of order. When I was married, and when my children were young, I had others to help with the dishes and laundry. My husband took care of any mess I left in the bathroom and I’m grateful for that. My children were great about quietly checking in on me to see if I needed water or meds.
    With my husband gone and my children independent adults, I am living alone. And YES, my house gets really messy when I’m in migraine mode. I usually alternate between the bed and the living room sofa – so both rooms take a hit. And the kitchen counter is covered with coffee cups and water glasses and cracker/bread crumbs, not to mention mail. I can lose between 3 to 7 days before I feel that it’s safe to start the clean-up. Then I’m faced with another problem because cleaning products with bleach or ammonia are triggers for me. So are dust, pollen, mold and mildew. (And I now live in Florida where mold, mildew and pollen reign.) I was out of commission for 3 days last week and 2 more days before I tackled the mess. As I write this, the kitchen is in good order, the living room still has stuff on the coffee table, my bed is made, but my bathroom really needs a bleach-based cleaner.
    I have nothing in my social calendar for the next 4 days, so I might risk cleaning the bathroom tomorrow.
    One other thing I should note: I do not invite friends in ( unless they’re really, really good friends), because I’m embarrassed at the condition of my home. I’m never fully able to “catch-up” with the housekeeping, so I live like a hermit. It doesn’t help my social life that I don’t reciprocate when invited to a neighbor’s for cocktails. People just don’t understand. If I clean the house for a party, I just might end up having the guests entertain themselves because I’ve had to go to bed with a migraine.

  • 1soro31
    3 years ago

    Ann Wallace, I feel for you with the cleaning products. You should look into non-toxic products as I have the same issue as you & these really work for me. The Honest Co products are the ones I’m using and I’ve had no issue. Instead of ordering from their website bc it’s a monthly commitment & I won’t use that much product, I order it from Amazon. (It’s difficult to find what I need in retail stores).

  • DonnaFA moderator
    3 years ago

    Hi Ann, we’re glad that this article made you feel less alone. It’s certainly daunting having to worry about the aftermath. You may want to check with Florida Dept. of Elder Affairs for intermittant housekeeping assistance. That may relieve some of the stress of having guests over. Also, you’re not alone in having scent triggers. We have a great article on Odorless Cleaning Products which may help, whichever way you chose to go.

    This article may be helpful in addressing your concerns about being triggered in the middle of your function: Healthy ways to enlist help with trigger avoidance, and maybe you could consider asking one of your friends to be your cohost. That way, you could share the responsibilities for your guests, and have insurance in case you have an attack.

    Thanks for sharing with us. We’re glad that you’re here, and you’re never alone! We’re here to help with information and support, or just to listen. -All Best, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • shariwismer
    3 years ago

    Ugh. I’ve been through that so many times over the years. When I was young, my mother used to tend to me during migraines and she would be cleaning up the bathroom while I passed out. That dear woman. Living on my own and now living with my husband, it’s a challenge. I feel guilty about having someone else clean up after me, because let’s be honest, sometimes it can be messy and disgusting. When I am sick, I try to clean up the bathroom as I’m in there lamenting my life and crying on the floor. It doesn’t always happen, but I try. Sometimes you just can’t do it though. It’s the nature of the beast.

  • redsox72
    2 years ago

    Many years ago when husband worked overnights and our two children were toddlers, it’s a miracle the kids even got fed. One day our pastor came over to help out and I swear there was Cheetos all over the floor and dishes overflowing. I was embarrassed and grateful at the same time.

  • Douglas
    3 years ago

    I have a “Honey Do” list that has items my wife will no longer allow me to do without someone with me (usually my daughter), just in case I have an issue. I get hemiplegic migraines and have cardiac issues as well. It has been difficult to accept.
    Do not beat yourself up over these things, no good can come of it.

  • Tamara
    3 years ago

    This article really helped, thanks. 🙂 This is the part of chronic migraine as a single women with pets that is causing me the most trouble. I’m trying to pace properly – I tend to do too much when I fine well and throw myself back into a pain cycle. But when there are dishes that need to be done, cages that need to be cleaned and laundry to do what else do you do? I would sit on the couch trying to rest during a migraine or pace afterwards and all I can see is the mess around me and that causes a lot of stress (and we all know about stress and pain cycles).

    The worse was when I was admitted to the hospital for status migranious, I was away at a trade show for a week and came home with a bad one – home in agony for 4 days and then went to urgent care and was transferred into the city. My brother and then my mom went to take care of my cats and the first comment I got (still in the hospital on 24/7 pain control!!) was that my house was disgusting and a mess! thanks, that’s what I needed to hear!

    I recently got the courage to ask my mom for help with scrubbing my oven and some other more intense cleaning I haven’t done in months (she is retired and nothing going on right now, me -> 24/7 headaches with 10-28 days of severe 7-10/10 pain levels a month for the past year). Her response – maybe but I really hate doing those things, it is your house and your younger. And every time she does come over she makes a comment on how something isn’t clean or tidy or my shelves or dusty etc.

    I’m too tired to even think how to make her understand how stressed out it makes me feel. 🙁 migraines suck.

  • 1soro31
    3 years ago

    Tamara, I understand. I’m single with chronic migraines & my mother also makes such comments. Although I tend to be ocd about neatness & she is the opposite. But I still get comments. Its hard for me to ask for help so when I do, I really need it. And to hear comments such as these is hurtful. It must be hurtful to you too. Especially from our Moms. But they don’t understand. Hopefully they will soon. There are some good tools on this site to help educate friends & family, if they’re open to learning.

  • Delaney
    3 years ago

    Ugh. Yes. Thank you for this post. I’ve been having migraine 5-6 days per week for the last two months (thunderstorm weather). When I’m not in pain I am either frantically trying to catch up or dealing with postdrome fatigue. I hate living alone, not only because there is no one to help with housework, but no one to get an ice pack or medication or a ginger ale or drive me to the emergency room if necessary.

    I recently joined a dating site but it feels even more hopeless. Everyone’s profile says that they like clean, active women and enjoy all kinds of sports and outings. Someone who can’t hit the gym five days a week, let alone someone who will be flaky sooner or later due to unpredictable migraine doesn’t seem to be on anyone’s wishlist; and feeling bummed out just leads to being unmotivated to do anything in the few non-migraine hours available. At least with articles like this I know I’m not completely alone…

  • Ellen H
    3 years ago

    It’s 10:49 pm and I finally got the dishwasher loaded. Now I need to take a break. Better yet, just go to bed.

  • Jojiieme
    3 years ago

    True confessions:
    I’m still slowly packing away my Passover kitchen… It’s boxed, just not taken out to the garage. So we live with most of our teeny living area cluttered up with big plastic tubs.
    I’ll tackle it tomorrow!

  • gertface
    3 years ago

    Oh my gosh. Have been there. Many times. Went through a 3 month cycle where most days I couldn’t get out of bed. I have a spouse and daughter in law that tried to take care of the house and grandchildren but when I would awake from my fuzzy brain, I would see all the things that didn’t get done. And I’d cry. But am learning that a house is just a house and stuff can wait. The heck with the little things. Concentrate on getting better.

  • mimi
    3 years ago

    After reading these stories I always feels like part of a community that really understands and supports one another, thank you! When in migraine mode I need to allow myself to make that mess and when I am better I need to force myself to clean it up a little at a time. I find that is the hardest part because I start to feel better but can’t do much even though I want to. I think we all put pressure on ourselves to always to more than we should, even when we can’t, and I find that the stressful part of this whole migraine process.

  • mimi
    3 years ago

    After reading these stories I always feels like part of a community that really understands and supports one another, thank you! When in migraine mode I need to allow myself to make that mess and when I am better I need to force myself to clean it up a little at a time. I find that is the hardest part because I start to feel better but can’t do much even though I want to. I think we all put pressure on ourselves to always to more than we should, even when we can’t, and I find that the stressful part of this who migraine process.

  • Maureen
    3 years ago

    Migraine Girl, you sound like you are really beating yourself up. Please don’t. It seems like you’ve been having a hard time lately, and maybe need some kind words for yourself.
    Are you confusing lack of concern with lack of ability? Sometimes my medicine or a glass of water is right next to me, and I lack the ability to reach for them or open them, or even to ask for assistance with them. Sometimes it isn’t lack of concern, it is lack of ability. They might leave the same wreckage, but the cause is different.

    Migraine Girl, read books, write blogs. Leave the mess for a little while if necessary. Or clean it up if a clean space helps your brain. But please don’t spank yourself for being sick with migraine. That’s what migraine is and does and looks like when we stop hiding it and dressing it up. Please don’t apologize or be ashamed.

    I am sorry you came out of your funk to a mess. Maybe you could draw the road map of your migraine like a Family Circus comic strip (Bil Keane? Do you know what/who I mean?), and turn this ugliness into a positive thing? Are you an artist as well as a writer?

    I do hope you are feeling better and your home is on the road to recovery as well;)

  • diane52
    3 years ago

    Yes I know to well how that feels, in my case I don’t live alone. But no one is going to clean it up, just me if the dishes stay in the sink long enough, my husband will finely wash them. Maybe!! But no one is going to touch the rest of the house. Definitely! Not the bathroom… Some men teat the bathroom, like some monster lives there… Just don’t understand.

  • Jojiieme
    3 years ago

    Oh, Michelle, then I have to clean up after him, too!! (He just doesn’t see dirt, and he’s so sloppy…)

  • Ronan
    1 year ago

    All I can say is “Yup”. But I tend to sleep on the couch in the living room when I have a migraine attack.

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