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4 generations of migraine=that know of.

When my father was young, he would tie a rag as hard as he could and go to sleep for days. My mother had them mostly in 20s, 30s and 40s. My brother, aunts, cousins, daughter and now her 17 year old-who I’m raising- started migraines last year. This has lead to alcholism-for the males who didn’t have the patience for Dr.s.

I’ve had them since adolescent. 38 years ago, I woke up with paralysis on right side and head pain 24/7/365. They only vary in intensity-never under a #6. I have a
neurologist. Some tried harder, but only got worse.


My heart is breaking for my 17 year old. He is under a neurologist, no positive results. he has failed the last two semesters and I see no change for the future. On top of this, he is on the high end of the autism spectrum.

Has anyone dealt with a child too ill to attend school?
When I thought my life couldn’t get any worse, it did.
would love helpful information. Cassiopeia

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Comments

  • 5 years ago

    Hi, One thing I know from a teenagers prospective is that teachers will say whatever they feel will satisfy the parents but will still find a way to make us teenagers feel bad and upset about the illness we can’t control. Last year I studied health and social care in college, they received all my medical records ahead of the year and also any new information i received, they still weren’t please with my attendance but i passed my course with my problems and they admitted they never believed i would, but this year they have informed me now that they know how severe my migraines are,now that they have realized that what i was saying was true that my migraines are chronic they believe i’ll be a liability to be allowed on another course.
    I know from my own experiences that i cannot always control what i want to say or how i react i can be horrible whilst mentally already feeling sorry, but iam also always feeling guilty for putting my problems and issues onto my parents, I worried them sick last year because i completely shut down because i didn’t want them to know how ill i was actually feeling and how dark my world had become .
    I’ve started writing in a journal or as i call it ‘my unwanted thoughts’ , my parents don’t read it, its mine to let out all my problems and feelings but it helps clear my head – as much as possible for a migraine sufferer .

    I don’t know if anything I’ve said will help you at all but if it does and you want to ask any questions please inbox me i’ll help in anyway that i can.

  • rhonda shumway-luna author
    5 years ago

    Tammy: I don’t understand why my full name shows on this page. Is it known only to you?

  • Tammy Rome
    5 years ago

    His willingness to accept help varies with those adolescent hormones. At 15, he was in a very dark place. I found his suicide threat on FB and called the school’s therapist. She talked to him and that was the start of a 3-year journey to accurate diagnoses, lots of family and individual therapy, medication experiments, etc. He graduated from therapy in May and has been doing well. A huge part of this has been a learning curve for hubby and I on how to respond (not respond) to the things he says/does that are really ASD/OCD. He can be demanding and cocky — you know — seventeen. He also earned his Eagle Scout in May after trying for 3 years. Please tell your son about mine. He struggles, has bad days, ignores our advice (and the doctor’s!), but he is a fighter. Once he finally got some realistic goals (i.e. he’s not going to be an attorney) and decided to pursue his passion (conservation, public parks & rec, and maybe full-time work for BSA) he got a lot more motivated about school. It’s only been a few weeks since school started, but so far so good (except those 4 absences!).

    Please do keep in touch. I moderate here and on the FB page, plus write for the blog so I’m pretty public. It would be difficult to hide with my big mouth.:-)

  • rhonda shumway-luna author
    5 years ago

    Thank you Jesus! To have your reply truly warms my heart. Thank you for replying. Where would these kids be without us? Or us without them. I adore my little man.
    Let’s call my son m3:since he’s my 3rd child. M3 attends a private school: run at no cost to us in conjunction with local hospital. They’re excellent. My problem is that m3 has given up, lost all motivation to try, seems to fear to try. His ie could maybe be looked at again. M3 also has the adhd,cd labels.
    My husband just walked in. I showed him this he said; “So, there is another one. Does he want help and cooperate?”
    Thanks again. I’m a bit computer klutz, but I’ii see if I can find you on fb. A thousand thanks and I’d like to keep in touch. Sincerely, Rhonda

  • Tammy Rome
    5 years ago

    Thank you so much for sharing! My 17 year old son is also seeing one of the best neurologists in town without positive results. And, he had high functioning autism, ADHD, and OCD. So I can totally relate to your worry for your son! If it weren’t for the IEP I fought to get, he would have failed the last 3 years. It is specific to migraine, but also accommodates the other diagnoses. He has flexible due dates, an option for oral exams and/or trigger-free isolation for testing. Additionally, the school has waived punitive action for attendance requirements since he misses 1-2 days each week.

    Be assertive when you advocate for him. Get the neuro involved, and a good therapist who understands chronic pain and ASD. When other professionals back you up, it is much harder for the school officials to ignore you. I was a loud, obnoxious squeaky wheel. Don’t let them tell you that it’s too late to start an IEP. If he has one in place before graduation, then in some cases it can carry over to college. Our local colleges allow flexible attendance, note-taking services, private testing rooms, tutoring at no charge, etc. for all special needs students.

    You can find me on the forums or our Facebook page if you have more questions.

    Tammy

  • rhonda shumway-luna author
    5 years ago

    Hi. At our 1st meeting of the year at school, they finally admitted that they felt my son was trying to manipulate the system by faking migraines. I’ve asked for a meeting with the school board and will need to educate them on disease and illness of migraine in order to change his iep to not punish him when he misses school. So thanks on alerting me to the possibility. Came across a 17 yr old girl in blog and sent her to you. New title: The pied piper of 17 yr old migrainers!
    Ta

  • rhonda shumway-luna author
    5 years ago

    Hi. Can’t find Migr….com on fb. Rhonda

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