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Answering “How are you?”

Ever feel like you can’t honestly answer the question “how are you?”? Try taking one of these bad boys for a spin:

My brain’s feeling pretty:

I feel like a:
•Rabid dog (frothing at the mouth, etc.)
•Blind mole (aren’t all moles blind and afraid of light?)
•Warewolf in the midst of a bone breaking transformation

I feel as if:
•There’s a rave going on in my head – but I’m the grumpy old neighbor who doesn’t “understand what kids these days listen to” and wants to call the cops
•I got drugged and woke up on an alien planet where the sun is brighter than it had been on earth
•I got dropped into a hole at a construction site without a hard hat or ear plugs
•I were a baby crying and screaming for food, unable to use words to express what I really want, and waiting desperately for parents who never come

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • Shanadoodles
    5 years ago

    My personal favourite to use is “fine apart from it feeling as if a human being is frantically stuck inside my skull trying to kick it’s way free.” Other wise “yeah fine” because it’s just too much effort to even explain the pain. :’)

  • Katie M. Golden moderator
    5 years ago

    Beautifully said! I may try some of these out next time someone asks. I especially like the alien abduction metaphor.

  • Jules2dl
    5 years ago

    My 92 year old dad always answers “wonderful, just wonderful”, and he says it stops everyone in his independent living place from “kvetching” about their ailments.
    I’ve actually tried saying “horrible, just horrible”, because I know my migraine shows in my face. Usually that shuts people up as well, because they don’t really want to hear me kvetch about my headaches either!

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