I’m at the end of my rope

I’m at the end of my rope. I have had chronic daily headaches/migraines for the past 17 years. I’m lucky enough that where I work is so slow with the economy that my boss doesn’t mind if/when I call in, but I also cannot earn enough money to actually support myself so I live with my elderly parents.

I have tried numerous doctors and treatments — from holistic to prescription to injections and nothing works.

The first two times I had Botox, it helped lessen the frequency of migraines and lessened the severity of the daily headaches, but the last couple of Botox injections haven’t really done much.

It’s been bad enough knowing that others do not understand; to them “it’s just a headache” and you should take some Advil and get over it. I’ve lost all friends because I can’t make plans and I can’t go anywhere that there’s a lot of noise. So, that pretty much has left me with my mom as my friend. Except yesterday when I had a migraine and just wanted to crawl into bed after I came home from work and she got angry. She yelled that “what kind of never-ending headache is this already; go find somebody who can do something.”

For crying out loud, this woman has watched me suffer with this for almost 20 years and knows how many doctors I have seen to try to control the pain. The way she said it was like my pain is fake or something. I don’t suffer from depression but this has kind of put me over the edge. In my mind, my answer to her never-ending headache is to just end it. It’s a living hell living with this pain and now the last person who I thought understood has turned against me. I can’t even move out since I can’t afford to. I’m trapped. Has anyone felt like this and can tell me how cope? It’s a very lonely place to be in.

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