Frustration

I had “headaches” as a child. Was daignosed with migraine and petit mal as a teenager. Treatment was hit and miss. I moved from CA to MN. The nuero there said it was just sinus pressure. No testing was done. I was dismissed. I gave up and just lived on ibuprofen, coffee, and imodium.

After about 15 years of this, I went in again.

I was told that I should have come in sooner. They did an MRI and told me that I had migraines. A few years later an EEG showed one episode. Was considered inconclusive, but I was then diagnosed with complex migraine with seizure.

So in essence I circled back after 20 years and am at the initial diagnosis. Apparently the lack of treatment caused brain damage. The damage can not be undone, the key is to avoid further damage, to keep them from happening.

The question is how. Today is for sure a no driving day. Tracking is scary, it is as though my eyes can not take in everythings around me, and the more I try, the closer the pain is to coming. Time for the abortive. The most difficult part is that I want to plan do things..hike, run, paint, read..but I just never know when I the aura and/or pain will strike. I have so much fun when I am well, then it is like I am forced to be alone in a tunnel.

The upside is that there are stills days when I can run, hike, paint and read.. there are days where the smell of a flower, where the sound of a guitar, and the sight of the sun shining through the window bring peace; These are the days that I live for.