Dear Diary:

After having a very good and restful (or so I thought) night’s sleep, I suddenly open my eyes and…crap!…there it is again, that relentless pounding in my head. Not another migraine attack! I look at the clock – 6:30 am, and my mind tries to focus beyond the pain and struggle with calculating the numbers: let’s see, 90 minutes before I have to be at my job, 2 hours before the migraine meds may kick in, or 1 hour if I’m lucky. Then oh wait, do I even have 1 pill left? (insert panic here). Maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago I filled my prescription, $120 for 6 pills. It’s been a bad month. Plan B: Have I maxed out my Visa yet? I can take 2 Advil and drive to Shoppers Drug Mart – they open at 8am. I’ll be late for work.…again. Damn. Can’t call in sick, I save that option for the really bad days. I’m lucky to be on salary, so still get paid if I’m sick. But then I feel guilty. When I was younger I was paid hourly, so didn’t want to call in sick, because I wouldn’t get paid – then there was no way to afford the meds. A vicious cycle. Even now, it’s tough. I think about what I could do if I didn’t spend half my paycheck on my prescriptions. Clothes, shoes, manicures and facials, gifts for the grandkids. Sometimes I actually think I’m lucky because I’m healthy otherwise. I’m 55, and this has been my life for 40 years.

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