Depressed

By savta45

2 min read

I’m trying so hard not to be, but it’s really getting to me today. I’ve been dealing with these migraines for several years now, tried all kinds of meds & treatments & none have done much, if any, good. The migraines are almost every day, to some extent or another, for some degree of time. This one started about 2 hours ago, it’s 11:40 in the morning, a lovely day outside & I had all kinds of plans for both indoor & outdoor projects to be accomplished today, but doubt if any will get done.

I’ve taken the Norco & if I keep completely still, I can just manage to type this. I’m still waiting for it to take effect. I took my Aimovig injection yesterday & the doc agreed that I can stay on my usual dose of Topamax, which was decreased for awhile, due to my ending up in the ED for what was a probable TIA. (I was confused.)

My husband wants to go to an Air/Car show for Fathers Day, but we’ve decided that he should get someone else to go with him, as it’s going to be loud & smelly. That’s only the most recent thing that I can’t participate in with him. I also have other medical problems that limit me physically, so it’s challenging. And, depressing.

And, yes, I’m on antidepressants. And I see a counselor. And, I pray. I TRY to tell myself that so many others have problems which are SO much worse. But, even through I do all that, it still gets to me sometimes & I feel hopeless. Just tired & worthless & disgusted & hopeless.

My husband knows this. He reassures me that he loves me, that this is not my fault. I have family who love me & worry about me. I have 2 dogs who I love & one, especially, who is my “Therapy Dog”, who I love TREMENDOUSLY & can almost always bring a smile to my face.

I haven’t read the statistics yet, & now I’m starting to get sleepy, but I would not be surprised to see a HUGE correlation between depression & chronic migraines. It/they effect every part of your life, messing it all up. The real question is how could one have chronic migraine & NOT be depressed? Welcome to my world.

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Allyson.Ellis Community Admin
Savta45, thank you for reaching out and sharing your struggle with the community. I hear what a toll migraine is taking on you. It is so hard feeling you cannot do or participate in things you enjoy because of how it affects your migraine symptoms. I am glad you have loving, supportive husband in your life who walks through this journey with you. Will you be able to do something at home later or earlier in the day with your husband to celebrate Father's Day as you cannot go along to the air/car show? Depression is indeed one of the most common comorbidities with migraine for some of those very reasons you described. I thought this article might resonate with you: <a href='https://migraine.com/blog/depression-migraines-unpleasant-cousin/' target='_blank'>https://migraine.com/blog/depression-migraines-unpleasant-cousin/</a> Know that it is okay to feel what you feel without comparing your journey to anyone else's. Just because you feel someone else's situation is "worse" than yours does not diminish the pain and struggle of your reality. It is good you engage in multiple practices to help you with the depression - medication, a therapist, your therapy dog, prayer! It is helpful to have a diversity of tools when approaching depression as depression rarely plays nicely and often requires several different tacks. Please know this community is always a safe space to come when you need support or to vent frustration. Thank you for sharing so honestly. Wishing you a gentle day. ~Allyson (Migraine.com team)
1. savta45 Member
 Hi Allyson, Thank you for your kind & comprehensive reply. As you can no doubt read, from my response to IntricatePurple, it’s been a very challenging couple of weeks. I’m sorry I haven’t gotten back to you before now. I do have an appointment coming up with my counselor, as well as the cardiologist, so that is a positive thing, even though she can’t make any of this go away. She can help me work through my feelings about it, & that may help. Thank you for your response & for doing what you do. I appreciate your words of encouragement & support. Sincerely, Ruth
intricatepurple Member
I feel your pain in more ways than one. A few months back is when my migraines started changing to add the depression side to it. (Deep Breathe) I hope you get some peace soon. Dont give up, you cant because I cant either. 33 years and still fighting the fight the rainbow is coming just hang in there. Dont be so hard on yourself is what my therapist says to me on a regular basis im trying to make that my mantra even when there are more bad days than good. #staymigrainestrong
1. savta45 Member
 Hi Intricate Purple. Thank you so VERY MUCH for your EXTREMELY SWEET & thoughtful reply. I want to write more, & will, but can’t until at least Saturday evening. More complications have developed, which I will explain. Just wanted to acknowledge & THANK YOU, although quickly.
savta45 Member
Hi IntricatePurple, Again, my thanks for your reply. In the interim, since I wrote my post, a couple of significant issues have occurred. My husbands brother passed away, & there was the funeral, etc., to contend with. Also, I’ve been in the Emergency Department twice, not for migraine, but for chest pain, for which they have not yet found a cause. Good news & bad news, as it’s still going on. I’m still having migraines, but, thankfully, they aren’t as severe as they have often been, or maybe the pain/anxiety re the chest pain is simply overwhelming them, & I’m just so much dealing with that now, that the migraines are taking a back seat? Idk. I’m seeing a cardiologist tomorrow, so we’ll see what happens from there. Btw, I’ve had 9 previous blood clots, so nobody wants to overlook anything with me. I’m a strange bird, for sure. In any case, please know that your EXTREMELY kind, thoughtful & sympathetic response meant a TREMENDOUS amount to me! I could feel your warmth through your words. This was EXACTLY what I needed, & I felt blessed by it. I most SINCERELY hope that you find relief from your suffering, as well. If you need to write & I can be of any help, I would be very honored to be there for you, as you were for me. In solidarity, #staymigrainestrong, Ruth

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