Why am I different?

My first experience with Migraines was when I started working in the corn fields in the summer. Working in the hot summer made me so sick but I would still work because if you couldn't keep up, they would let you go and mama needed the extra money. I felt my head was going to burst. I would cry and just lay in bed until I fell asleep. If someone woke me up boy did my head hurt. My mom used to tell my sister/brother not to wake me up unless you want to see Taz. I didn't know what I was experiencing and I didn't know how to cope. My mama never had headaches and once in a while I would get an aspirin. During the years I would just deal with them. I really didn't have much of a social life. Migraines affected me in so many ways. The pain as best as u can describe is like being hit with a baseball bat. I couldn't plan ahead because I just didn't know when the monster would attack. If I went somewhere, I wouldn't last long before I started getting a headache. Lost friends time to time because I just couldn't be out like them. I was always sick or drained.

I would tell the doctor and you felt he was giving me water pills. It wasn't until I moved that I changed doctors that he really took an interest and told me I suffered from classical headaches. A year later I was told I suffer from Chronic Migraines. I have always felt a dark cloud on top of me. I felt as if my brain had a hard time breathing at times. I never felt good. I probably had 6-7 days a month that I felt normal but so drained. Now that I am taking preventatives, I feel so normal from time to time. I went from having 23 episodes to about 7-9 a month. It's still a working progress but I can finally smile. I have a smile :) I could finally open my eyes and look outside in direct sun. I can see I can see I told my doctor. I felt as if I had waken up. I feel alive. I feel normal. I feel happy! I'm not migraine-free but its a working progress.

I have to be careful not to eat certain foods and get plenty of rest. I learned how to listen to my body. Never take life for granted. Others wished they had normal days. I inherited this monster and don't wish it on any. I feel like I can tolerate more pain than others. You have no idea how many times I cried because of the pain. How many times I couldn't speak because of the pain. How many times I shut down because of the pain. I'm different anymore. I understand now. I'm aware now that I am Migraine sufferer and that there are more people like me that understand my struggles.

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