I feel like I am fighting in a war!

My migraines started almost 15 years ago. I was 41 years old and had never experienced even a small headache, but one morning while getting ready for work my brain exploded. I fell to my knees and crawled out of the bathroom to the bedroom where my husband slept and cried for help. Since by then I was vomiting everywhere, he knew something was really wrong and he dressed me and we raced to the ER. I remember how scared we were and how unaware we were at what was happening. I was experiencing that “worse headache of your life” that you hear about due to a brain hemorrhage. I was transferred to a trauma hospital where I recovered from the brain bleed. After 2 weeks in ICU, I began suffering from horrible migraines. I remember being told that I had suffered a stroke and how lucky I was to be walking and talking, and I felt so blessed for that. The only thing I didnt know is that my life would turn into a horrible war zone with me as the walking wounded soldier!

I didn’t know how to fight with doctors, nurses, hospitals, and emergency rooms. I expected that everyone would take care of me because I was in horrible pain, not treat me like a drug addict or a horrible person because I couldnt stand the pain I had. I still, after 15 years am shocked by the poor treatment I experience when I am hospitalized for other medical problems. It is exhausting. I wish the battle would be over, that there would be compassion, trust and good judgement from doctors who treat chronic pain patients, but I am almost ready to surrender! I am worn down by the constant need for understanding and at the very least adequate care from doctors. As most migraine patients know, this is only one part of our life. We also have to navigate our way through relationships with family, friends, etc. Like I said, it can be exhausting. In the meantime, I hurt really bad! Luckily I have an awesome husband who has held our family together, and stands by me, supporting me in the many battles I fight. I don’t know what I would do without him. Thanks for reading my story. I look forward to hearing from others and find comfort in knowing I am not alone!

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

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  • slhart
    3 years ago

    I’m a 30+ year migraine sufferer. It is like a never ending bad dream. I feel your pain and can relate. It should not be that hard to get real help or maybe real help does not exist??
    Praying for all that suffer

  • deborahvan-der-harst
    3 years ago

    Hi Teri, I recently discovered how difficult it is to advocate for yourself when receiving powerful DHE infusions. DHE caused terrible anxiety for me because I couldn’t carry on a coherent conversation to ask for what I needed. I also felt almost like what I was experiencing wasn’t real. In between the DHE infusions I would begin to feel normal again. Then I was able to ask for what I needed, and ask about the side effects I was experiencing. Like you mentioned, it was exhausting receiving inpatient migraine treatment, and trying to understand what was happening to me. No one explained sufficiently why I felt like I was losing my mind which led me to feel a lack of compassion. I was hospitalized at the beginning of March for 7 days, and I still deal with the increase in anxiety from the experience on a daily basis. My agoraphobia worsened so that I leave my home only for appointments. I had been making strides in leaving my home with reduced anxiety before the hospitalization. The anxiety has led to depression making it difficult for me to funtion. The medical staff didn’t listen to me when I explained that I was experiencing extreme anxiety, and needed better treatment to manage my symptoms. I just want to get past the anxiety and depression. I want to feel normal again.

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