Feeling Better Means Feeling Feelings

I've been on Aimovig for close to a year. It was working okay - down to four to six migraines a month (from 12 a month) but I was still having a lot of fatigue. At my visit to the neurologist a couple of months ago he asked how I was doing. Okay, I said. We talked and he decided to include my old preventative of candesartan into the mix with the Aimovig. As of today, I haven't had a single migraine with head pain episode. I have had a few days of migraine-like exhaustion that come with nausea and feel like the pain is coming, but it never does.

I am very lucky and very excited but also sad, stressed and tired (usually things that went hand in hand with migraines for me). I was hit with the realization that migraines can be a mood regulator. When I get overly worked up, or push myself too hard a migraine was sure to hit making me bedridden. With a migraine, I was so focused on my pain and crushing fatigue and dizziness that I didn't have space for anything else. When I was done with an episode, I was so happy to that it was over that I threw myself back into life.

Today, I am depressed and really tired. I'm in a conflict with a friend and I'm in grad school and I'm working. I'm not surprised that I'm tired, but I am surprised that I'm tired with no migraine. I feel sad and overwhelmed, but I feel sad and overwhelmed without kicking into a migraine. It's a really weird feeling. I am definitely not saying that I in any way caused my migraines, they run heavily on both sides of my family, but I guess what I am saying is that I've grown used to them helping me to regather and recoup when I feel stretched thin. I just called a therapist, because I think this is good to talk through with someone.

As a migraineur, I work a lot on self care. I'm interested to learning more about walking through this new chapter of my life for as long as it lasts.

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