Feeling Scared

By jodim

1 min read

So, I've been worried about my job - missing due to migraines as well as cognitive issues when I am able to work affecting my work - I am a bookkeeper. Even I am surprised at the mistakes I am making. I do my work, not questioning what I am doing & thinking I am doing it right. Then someone asks me a question about something so I go back to see what I did and can't believe what I did (or didn't do) because I don't remember having a problem with it.

When this first started happening I was aware that I was having problems processing but now I don't seem to be. I think this is more than a migraine issue because all that I have read seems to indicate that migraine doesn't cause permanent damage. However, since I had my first aura episode in March, this is on going. The MRI & EEG are both normal.

So, my employer has been good. We've moved around work so that I can do the less "thinking" jobs, but I'm having problems with those too. So my boss called HR & talked with them. They suggested I see if my Dr. will put me on Short Term Disability while I figure this out. I am scheduled for a neuropsych exam but cannot get in until October. I got a list of providers from my insurance so I can try to get in somewhere else.
Anyone else had this happen?

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Katie M. Golden Moderator
Jodi- I went through the same thing!! I was a commercial real estate banker. Like you, I worked with numbers and had to be very precise. When the Migraines became chronic, I had to ask other people to proofread my work. It became embarrassing. I, too, was moved to other less analytical work, but I never found a new niche. I eventually went out on short-term disability which turned into long-term. I'm not saying you'll never go back to work as a bookkeeper if you go out on short-term, but it may be worth thinking about. Take that time to be aggressive about treating your headaches. By any chance, are you on Topamax? It is known to have a side effect of cognitive and memory issues. Sometimes decreasing the dose can help. I experienced this on Topamax, but even after I got off it completely I still have issues. As you consider your employment status, this article may help you to protect your income: <a href='https://migraine.com/blog/disability-income-preparation-guide' target='_blank'>http://migraine.com/blog/disability-income-preparation-guide/</a>
lorib Member
Take a close look at what preventatives you may be on. I, too, had issues with Topomax. I would lose words, lost my train of thought frequently and couldn't concentrate enough to read novels. I no longer take it. But I've also found that the more "active" my chronic migraines are, the less concentration and functionality I have overall. I'm not sure if it's the haze of pain, the meds, or if there is just less brainpower available for use since so much is taken up with the migraine. This state sometimes lasts weeks and has the same type of results; decreased concentration, memory issues and the feeling that I can only handle simple, linear tasks. There's no multi-tasking, no reading of novels, no complex thoughts. Very frustrating!
jodim Member
Thanks Lori B & Katie Golden for you comments. I was on Topamax but was having the issues before & didn't stay on it very long fore the exact reasons you stated. As of today I am on short term disability. I went to bed with a "vice on my head" and woke up with it even tighter. It was such a relief not to have to feel like a child and call in. Even though it is a scary thing, it is such are relief & I am having no anxiety with this headache. Have you ever gotten a headache from crying?? I was really emotional yesterday & had just a mild headache in the morning but in the evening after all was said & done I was talking with my husband & crying because I feel like I am "losing my mind." Instantly my headache went from a 2 to an 8. Never had that happen before.