Friendship lost

My migraines have ravaged my body & soul. My strength is faltering. I reach out to family & friends. I know its not their job but my family supports me through these rough times. I don’t know what I’d do without them. See, they know, they suffer too. They get it. Unfortunately not all do. I just lost another “friend” this week because my health is too much of an issue for him to handle. I really don’t understand the shallow, selfishness that follows that thinking. Maybe because they don’t have to deal with it, they choose not too. I suppose it is their choice. They figure why put up with the trouble when they can just have a good time. It hits the ego hard when you realize that people are more concerned with their fun than a friend. I thought love was unconditional. Boy was I off base. Some day I’l find someone that loves me just the way I am. In the meantime, I’l just sigh and wonder what goes through their head. Truthfully, if they think it sucks to only have to watch a migraine, they should try having one. I really am dumbfounded by this. I know they don’t get it, but it still stings a lot. I guess I’ll have faith that tomorrow will be a new better day. I hope I’l be able to see all day, not have pain & feel both arms. I guess I can only live life by example. Funny how others bring us around to ourselves.

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Comments

View Comments (5)
  • Pamela
    4 years ago

    Hi!
    I totally understand, many of us are treated the same way. And your right, if you have never had a headache let alone a #10 migraine that goes on for days, weeks, months & years, you will nevet undestand. We wouldn’t wish this on anyone!
    If you lost a friend over Migraines, were they really a friend? Also, we know how hard it is being Migrainuers. Think how hard it is for our loved ones & those who love us to watch us suffer and not being able to make it better.
    If you have any that want to physicaly help, your blessed in this busy me me world.
    Let those who do, help – food, cleaning, errands ect. and show your greatfulness with sincere praise, greatful words of sincere praise go a long way!
    Most important remember that Jesus & Father God are Always with you if you asked them into your heart &&& Keep them there daily!!24/7/365
    Also I live on ice packs (gel packs from Meijer)

    And you cannot count on anyone to make you happy only you can make yourself happy.

    I have suffered Migraines for 28 yrs and headaches my whole life. I have become very wise at the age of 58 (learned from life’s tuff lessons)and married super happily for 24 years to a true
    christian man. We are not stuffy, just Almightyly Faithul.
    See my story & most recent post under Faithful- July 28, 2014.

    Many Blessings to you!!
    Pam

  • sarahlouise345
    4 years ago

    It’s like you’re writing from inside my mind. I’ll be sharing this on my facebook, twitter etc but the people who I really need to read it are the ones who don’t care enough to even click on the link.

    For anyone in the UK experiencing this kind of bullying and disability discrimination, the Samaritans are great to talk to when you’re feeling low. They won’t try to make excuses for the bullies, unlike most people I try to talk to. http://www.samaritans.org

  • LAnnSmith
    4 years ago

    Jacqui,
    I’m sorry you’ve lost another friend. I think most of us understand that, and you wrote about it so perfectly. We just want to be okay, not to be a burden. But we also want our people to understand when we’re weak and need help.
    These migraines are not just physically disabling. Sometimes I mourn for the people, jobs, and opportunities I’ve lost because of them.
    And people wonder why we get depressed?

  • Katie M. Golden moderator
    4 years ago

    Jacqui,
    I’m so sorry you’re going through this. That just sucks.
    In the long run you’re better off without this person in your life, but the initial shock of their words can sting. Love IS unconditional…but clearly the person you speak of didn’t know what real love was.

    I can tell you all day long that this wasn’t a true friend, but I’m sure you realize that already. It can get so lonely dealing with this disease, so I’m glad that you have other people in your life that do love and support you.

    Grieve for the loss of your friend, but not for too long!
    -Katie
    Migraine.com Moderator

  • Jackie
    4 years ago

    According to a friend my migraine on vacation ruined our cruise to Alaska. My hubby and I were trying to celebrate our 30th anniversary by renewing our vows with friends. I tried so hard but I had one continuous migraine and was told I ruined it for everyone else.

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