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I won’t complain

One of the hardest lessons to learn as a headache sufferer is that my headaches are caused by many factors but the mind game of blaming myself for the pain is destructive and counterproductive to the healing process. As I struggle with the reasons, what I could have done differently, or what others are thinking, my physical body pays a greater price. Hearing someone tell me, “you must learn to slow down” or “if you had not done this you would not be sick” is harmful because it places the blame at my feet. I know they mean well but their words hurt as often they echo my own personal feelings. No one desires to hear “I told you so.”

Freeing my mind is the first step in the healing process. I recognize now, my suffering has a purpose. It builds my endurance, faith, testimony, and resilience. There are times that, yes, if I had not done x, y, z I may not have got a headache. Also there are times, where doing nothing causes more pain than doing something. I choose the life of promise which is pressing towards the mark. I will not allow my suffering to be in vain. Yes I will suffer but I know God has a plan. If I share my pain it’s not to complain. It’s for love, compassion and comfort, never discipline. I no longer despise the journey because God has a purpose and my prayer is to live on purpose. Keep praying for me as I pray for you. As I encourage you, I encourage myself.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • Michelle
    6 years ago

    Thank you Ralene for sharing. Last April I was literally struck down from my migraines. I have slowly recovered but still suffer them.

    Your words are a reflection of how I have felt the last several months. My faith is what has kept me going. Thank you for putting to words what I have felt and could not express.

  • Ralene author
    6 years ago

    God bless you Michelle. I have been at my lowest thru pain and my faith has been my only solace. I pray your continued strength in The Lord! Never give up. God got you!

  • Theresa
    6 years ago

    Thanks Ralene for sharing with us. My migraines are almost constant along with arthritis pain, and not complaining is something I strive for.
    I agree with you that God is refining me through suffering and I can even thank Him for what He is doing. My life is far from normal, but not without purpose.

    “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Cor. 4:16-18).

    The most encouraging book that I read and re read, written by a woman that was bed ridden for years with migraines and arthritis is: Grace Grows Best in Winter by Margaret Clarkson. I’m sure you could find it on Amazon. It encourages me to persevere every time I read it. I will pray for you Ralene. Theresa

  • Ralene author
    6 years ago

    Thanks and God bless you Theresa, I will look for Clarkson’s book as being encouraged to persevere through the journey is very important. Paul’s message to the Corinthians gives us peace and joy knowing that our suffering is only temporary. I love that beautiful scripture and use it along with others to press forward. I have written about my own personal struggle and journey in my upcoming book and it has helped me encourage others to never give over or lose hope. I recall those seasons of being bedridden and thank God healing is a process I am going through. I will continue to pray for you and thanks again for writing. Stay encouraged as I encourage myself. Ralene

  • margaret
    6 years ago

    Hi Ralene,
    I just read your story and it was so lovely put. I no longer suffer from migraines but as difficult as it may be for others to hear, it was the best thing that happened to me. Of course at the time you want nothing more than the pain to go away but I have grown so much from that suffering that it has made me a much better person. I vowed never to suffer in vain and always offered my suffering for others. It made the burden just that much less. I will pray that one day your burden may be less and you too will live pain free. God bless.

  • Ralene author
    6 years ago

    God bless you for your words of encouragement. You obviously get what I am saying. Many may not understand when we say that we have grown stronger through our suffering, yet we have. I thank God for the journey. I know that one day I will be pain free, but today I thank God I no longer suffer like I use to. God has a purpose and I learn more and more each day. Thanks again for responding. God bless you.

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