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Dear Me

Have been thinking very much the last few days about my migraines and the identity they force on me. Been extremely touched and inspired by the last few migraine stories I’ve read about how much sufferers do not want to succumb to being known as “the migraine girl or boy.” Hadn’t really had an idea how to enter my own story into the mix. I was cleaning out the deep recesses of my closet this morning and found this piece of paper that summed up everything I feel like needs to be said about me and migraines. It was a letter I had written to myself several years ago and need to frame and put in clear view to always remind me.

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Dear Me,

I am sick to death of everyone asking me “Do you have a headache?” every five minutes. There is nothing more frustrating to me than my mother/father/friend/teacher saying, “Don’t make yourself sick over this.”

In one way it’s nice to know people care. But on the other hand, I think they assume I always have one or even worse that I AM ONE. So it spawned this letter. I’m going to print it out and look at it every time I feel down about these stupid things.

I get migraines.

But they don’t define me.

I am not a migraine!

I am Kelly.

I am a hardworking college student.

I am 1/2 of what I believe to be the greatest love ever known.

I am a big sister and a little sister.

I am a San Francisco Giants fan.

I am an avid reader.

I am Auntie Kiki to the cutest nieces and nephew alive.

I am a surfer.

I am a music lover.

I am a Wii Sports Master.

I am a proud Californian.

I am a summer worshiper.

I am a computer whiz.

I am a Harry Potter fanatic.

I am a follower of Christ.

I am a movie aficionado.

I am a writer.

I am a football enthusiast.

I am dedicated.

I am a best friend.

I am an insomniac.

I am happiest when my head doesn’t hurt and people remember all the other things about me.

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A few years later I would also like to add that I am a Cum Laude Graduate of English Literature, a librarian who does not think any one on the world has a better job than her, and now the wife of that greatest love ever known (first wedding anniversary next week!)

Should’ve taken my own advice and printed it out. But I definitely intend to this time. Would LOVE to know all the parts of all of you and what you do consider “defining characteristics” in your lives.

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Comments

  • Katy
    7 years ago

    I love that!! I married the love of my life we been together 16+ years, But his family thive on negativity! I’m the outcast so I get picked on daily. I’m scared cause my husband is starting to be that way. If he is away from them the positivity returns. But they are tight knit so trying to draw him away is impossiable. I don’t know what to do. at least when I have a migraine most the time Hubby shows empathy but as far as my other medical conditions they refuse to except them. I take Zofran and naratriptan It works for me I also take Amitriptalin daily If you haven’t tried it ask ya doc I wish you well take care Thank you for sharing something so positive it helps me see that I’m better than this and I CAN do what I want. Take care

  • Betsy Blondin
    7 years ago

    I love this, Kelly! What a great way to emphasize the positive. As I learned while working with many migraineurs on Migraine Expressions, people with migraine have often accomplished more than people without migraine, and I am so impressed how well migraineurs live their lives in spite of everything. Thanks for the reminder.

  • cancan
    7 years ago

    WOW, what a wonderful story!!!! I certainly wish I’d been smart enough 65 years ago to write down my worth, instead of always seeing and feeling one big HEADACHE whenever I woke up in the morning and looked in the mirror, knowing that I wanted to be so active…and everytime I made the effort, I would get a “sick headache”….we didn’t call them migraines years ago. I made so many efforts, only to succumb to the dark bedroom, putting a cold washcloth on my head after school, after work, during and after having my babies, being a caregiver to 6 family members and 2 friends…seeing them all to their graves…and on and on….for 65 years, the headaches started at age 8! Yes, I am 73 already, and getting the migraines still, worse than ever! I had an Occipital Nerve Block last week, still getting daily headaches but only have had 2 break-throughs, which hopefully is a beginning to some type of relief. I have taken Fioricet with codeine for 45 years and am told I probably will never get off them. I take 4-5 a day and hate it but my body is dependent on them after so many years, my Pain Specialists tell me at my age they would rather see me have a good quality of life taking them, than trying to get me off them when I still have daily migraines. My story is a long one, 65 years of ups and downs, in and out of depression all my life but your story, Kelly, may help turn my attitude around to see what good I did in life, and try to forget the horrible head, neck and face pain I’ve endured for so long. I did finally find out I have extreme TMJ, which I now wear a much larger MOUTHGUARD that has helped some. I also found out I have Trigeminal Neuralgia and possibly Neuralgia throughout my body…so at least I now know and am not dreaming up all this pain….and feeling like I am a drug addict. I have beat myself up something awful for having to take pain pills of some kind for 45 years but the first 20 I suffered with no help medically, almost committing suicide at age 11, the eye pain was so bad!!! But God must have helped inch me along, as I have had a great life, except for the headaches. Thanks so much for your nice story….it will get me to thinking in a different way I think! Maybe in a more positive and happier way. My Soul Mate girlfriend was my very strongest support, she died of breast cancer 8 years ago, all my other strong support dear people are gone too, I tried to keep them alive for as long as I could, I needed them so badly. My poor husband of 52 years is so used to me and my pain, I almost think it “rolls off his back” now, though he is sympathetic to a point but not the support I really need. I am afraid to find anyone for support any more, I don’t want to lose them, so I just stay to myself now….and get through the days the best way I can.and with my Pain Specialists. Thanks again, I do so appreciate you sharing your “special” letter, it may be a Godsend to me!!!!!! Carolyn Nowland

  • kathy-phelan-delaurodelauro
    7 years ago

    Great letter! I understand and appreciate the frustrations you face!
    I am a mother and grandmother.
    I am only 44 and don’t want to feel 88.
    I love living my life.
    I am 1/2 of a great love story as well
    (Thankfully he is a nurse)
    I will try All remedies to get better.
    (All migrainers will)
    I love being me….not a migraine!!

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