My Personal Migraine

My family and friends most of them do not understand think that it is not as bad as I say or am faking.  I would love for them to walk a day in my shoes and then see how they feel.  They wouldn’t make it.  The worst part is my son, he will soon be 7 and I’ve missed  so much and he doesn’t understand why mommy can’t do all the things he wants to do.  Let alone why mommy is in bed a lot.

I have seen numerous specialists, none who can give me a reason why this is happening.  All my test come back ok.  So then they treat it as something I just have to deal with.  How do you deal with something that steals your life from
you without killing you and ruins your family life by you not being able to take part in your life because you can’t raise your head off your pillow without excruciating pain.  And getting little to no help from the people who are suppose to be there for you and love you.

Then when I quit work recently HR lady was insulting by classifying my illness as basically willy nilly and that people with terminal illnesses can get there insurance taken out immediately from their monthly check if approved but
someone like me they may make me wait a year or more to do so.  I feel completely stigmatized by this.  People don’t know so they just assume it is just a headache.  Just a headache would be great if that were all it was only one day,  but everyday of every month is not just a headache.  Migraines are even more stigmatized than depression now.  Which makes those of us who have chronic daily migraines feel like we have no where to turn, no support, and sometimes no hope.  I have read some of the other stories and can relate totally.  However, the truth of the matter is you do feel so alone when you are lying in bed not able to function.

What scares me most is that my symptoms quite a bit of the time mimic stroke symptoms, that I have to weigh out the whether or not to go to the ER.  However, when I do they only give me shots.  It took my family doctor to order a CT scan to make sure I hadn't had one.  Luckily I haven't but I am at an increased risk and that scares me to death.  That I could have a stroke and my little boy could potentially be left without a mother at such a young age.

So I try to deal with my personal migraine as best I can hoping everyday they will find something new that will work or that maybe just maybe they will go away all by themself.  I know it's a longshot but if I don't have hope I have nothing.