Never never ending Monster
On June 14th, 2016 I came home from work with a bad headache about 830pm. By 11pm I couldn’t stand it and not long after, I realized I was in full blown migraine attack. Now, I have had migraine’s since I can remember. A horrible one at age 6 that I won’t forget. I re.ember a lot about that day, now. The memory I have stuffed for 52 years came to me while back g this attack!
I get Migraine between 4-6 times per year. They are whopper-doosies. Some are the regular migraines. Not that there is anything regular about a migraine attacks. So it’d been from Tuesday to Tuesday, 9 weeks I have spent with this monster. The first 5 1/2 weeks were absolutely devastating. On the, not at all accurate pain scale, my pain was off the charts. But for the sake of the chart I was a 10. I went to the Doctor, my first appt with new PCP. Great! Then I went to the Dentist, as my gums were badly bleeding and I had big sores below the gum line. So far everything checks out on. Then my Dr. Is booked so I see the NP 3 times, the Neurologist twice, go to Urgent Care on day 10, they treat it with onset drugs. It’s a # 10 and I’m on day 10. It does not help. In the past I have taken a combination drug, Fioricet. I don’t have any and the PA won’t prescribe. So I go back to Urgent Care t within the next few days. They give me 5 the of morphine with the drug that starts with a t. Oh boy, this started to relax my shoulders, but that’s it. I went to ER via Emergency Vehicles on day 31. That was so messed up. I had no idea I would be treated like a degenerate, medical, drug seeking bimbo crazy person who is lying. Nothing against any of these things, it is just a descriptive view of my first impression. It Friday late afternoon, the ER is not busy. I called 911 because I was at the end of my rope and I was done! I wanted to hurt myself, badly. So I played the whole tape and decided to not be selfish and not look for the easy way out. So I called for help. This is after 2 1/2 hours on the phone to every Dr I see, migraine hotline, suicide hotline, and every organization I could find that had something to with pain, headache, migraine etc. No one could help and no one called back. Nice. I even called my health insurance company and Network clinical Dept. No one returned my calls for help.
The Paramedic told the first person to approach us in the ER the situation. I was Tex to hurt myself, im done, # 10 migraine etc. No one from behavioral health came to talk to me and no one addressed the wanting to hurt myself scenario. The Dr saw me for maybe a minute with a big smile nodding his head. Never saw him again. He prescribed the drug with a T, Benadryl and something for the nausea. I was there in 2007 with a terrible migraine, they gave me a non-profit R otic pIn relief shot. It did not work. Back to present time…All of my info is on their computer! So why did a Nurse, who was almost ready to leave, do my intake? She was also training someone. Never looked me up on computer, she just started over from square 1, this is my hospital that I have been going to since the late 1960’s! She let the trainee input all of my info, 40 minutes later, I am freaking out in pain, and so out of it that I can’t even say a thing about the care I am getting. Another nurse comes with the IV injectables. Now, the traininee is going to learn to hook up an IV!? I tell them that I am hard to get hold from and I show them where to go. They go to the other arm, make a pin cushion out of that arm and move on to the next arm. Yes, another pin cushion. What the F? Do they just t get that I am dying with pain and discomfort, that I am so depressed and frustrated, that I am yesterday? Finally after my IV is in and I am given the meds, I can feel it very slightly subside, then boom like an unforgiving force, it’s back with a vengeance. I tell the train de to get the Dr. Never saw him. Next thing I know, a different Nurse with a big tide is ripping the IV portal out of my arm and wrapping tape around both IV area so tight and forceful she is cutting off my circulation. She says the Dr wants you to leave and go home. No discharge, no one to walk with me, no wheelchair just me trying to get off the bed and no idea where the door is. The Benadryl kicked my ass and I can barely stand mu h.less walk, by myself to the exit, that I can not see. Let me back up, this is good. While the Nurse and trainee are getting my info, I can hear a Paramedic talking to a Nurse about a woman they just brought in. She’s 90,has a migraine and her husband is on his way. OK, fine. When I wake of Om my 10 minute or so Benadryl daze I can hear a Nurse talking to this 90 year old woman. “Mrs. ??, Can I get you some more Morphine? I just said you have got to be totally F-ing with me. This was the most basses, prejudiced experience I have had in a long long time. I am a white, blonde green eyed woman. I am half Armenian, American Indian and Scottish, English and Irish. I am a mutt. They pre judged me on my condition rather up my history and believing me. I have been back to my PCP two times, I see him again tomorrow. He has given me my combination drug a very very mild muscle relaxer and blood pressure meds. I do not have high blood pressure, the combo drug is not working and the muscle relaxer has been unsuccessful in relaxing me.
I am a crazy person. Oh, they found a cyst on my brain but they are not concerned because am not symptomatic. oh really. Migraines, Meningitis, hypothyroidism? That’s not symptomatic?
I’m enough of me blabbering. Can anyone relate? I am sorry for any misspelled words and run on sentence fences or thing that do not make sense. But, I have a migraine! For way too long now. It has subsided to a 7 1/2-8. This has been the worst experience of my life and it has broken me physically, mentally, emotionally and most of all spiritually. I have been doing, nine yoga moves for migraines, been going to Japanese deep tissue massage gotten a better attitude and gone back to work, a bit. What is a girl to do? I’m serious.
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