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Nurses You Thought Were on Your Side

I live in a very small town. We have around a 1,000 people. So basically, everyone knows everybody’s business. I have daily chronic migraines and headaches. The pain level is usually around a 9 or 9.5. My PCP and I have a treatment plan. I can have two treatments a week. I can get a morphine, phenergan, and Ativan injections,or an IV with Benadryl, lidocaine, and Phenergan. I’m an incredibly hard IV stick, but I sit still and never complain when some nurses have stuck me double digit times. I really love my nurses. But there is one who always tries to make me talk to her, tries to make me tell her stories, and tries to make me laugh. And then she turns around and calls my PCP behind my back and tells him there is no way I can possibly feel as bad as I say I do. Because she’s had a few migraines and she can’t do any of the things I can do. So I must be faking. Thankfully my doctor knows this is a lie. I have to deal with this pain every day and have dealt with it for around 13 yrs straight now. If I didn’t cope, I would most likely have killed myself a long time ago. It’s even worse, because she acts so sweet and caring and then turns around and tells lies behind my back. I usually can’t talk or do much of anything with the bad migraines. My sister has to do most of the talking and decision making because I’m puking the whole time. All the other nurses go out of their way to help me. I love them, so it feels even worse when this one nurse, and it is always the same nurse who lies, that makes the betrayal seem so much worse. I was curious if this happens to any other migraine sufferers. I’m lucky that my doc knows that this nurse pulls this crap on other patients besides me. It makes it incredibly hard to trust nurses who appear to be sweet and caring who then turn around and try to screw you. Like people with chronic migraines really need something else to make us feel even worse. Sorry, I needed to vent a little.

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  • deborahvan-der-harst
    4 years ago

    Hi Erin, in my opinion that nurse’s behavior is reprehensible. She shouldn’t be getting away with treating patients the way she treats you; especially, when you’re in pain and vulnerable. Everyone experiences pain differently, and smart medical staff know that. Is it possible to have your sister to talk to someone in charge, and let them know about this nurse’s behavior toward you? Maybe she can let the staff know that you want a different nurse for your care. You don’t have to tolerate that nurse’s bad attitude. You are paying them. You deserve better treatment. Ask your sister to advocate for you if possible.
    Why isn’t the doctor doing anything when he knows what this nurse is doing to you?

  • margaret
    5 years ago

    I feel for you Erin on many levels. The pain you must go through… I can’t even begin to imagine. You should really be commended for your courage to fight through this each and every day. Migraines are one of those sicknesses that people who don’t have it can’t really understand. No one can REALLY understand your pain unless they have walked a mile in your shoe…even other migraine sufferers. Pay no attention to what others may say or do…you know your truth and really that is all that matters. Don’t give this nurse that power over you. You have enough struggles and stresses in your life and know that there will always be that someone who will hurt you no matter what you do or say. I wish you all the best and hope that one day you will find relief from not only your physical but mental pain as well.

  • Gael Lafond
    5 years ago

    I understand your sorrow. That nurse seems heartless, and unfortunately many are. They have to analyse the situation in an objective manner. After seen so many patients, they loose their empathy. Their job would just be impossible if their were sharing the pain of every patients.

    I don’t know anything about that nurse. I don’t want to defend her, but I’m just thinking that maybe you need to try understand her point of view.

    There is a lot of people out there who are hypochondriac. They end up in our hospitals and cost a lot to our health system. It can be hard to find out who is faking and who is really sick.

    Since you have chronic migraines, you end up at the hospital regularly, so you may looks like an hypochondriac patient. I’m sorry if she seems mean to you, but maybe she is just trying to do her job…

  • Erin author
    5 years ago

    I’ve known this nurse for a while. I see my PCP first and he sends an order over to the hospital. She knows my doctor wouldn’t write the order unless I really needed it. I try to avoid the er,and go to my doctor during clinic hours. Unfortunately, I’m not the only person in town who suffers from extreme migraines. And she apparently treats these patients the same way. If you don’t react the same way to a migraine that she does,then you couldn’t possibly have that bad of a migraine. I always try to look at it from a nurses point of view. I try to understand. But when she makes no effort to understand me, and in fact tries to punish me for not reacting the way she does, it makes it very hard to not feel hurt. And lying to my doctor just seems unforgivable. That’s just my opinion.

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