OMG! SOMEONE ELSE DOES KNOW!
I had my first migraine in the 5th grade. My Daddy sat up all night with me while I cried. So in 40 years I've gone through all the usual tests and medication trials that most of you have. And I've heard all the insane comments too. One of my favorites came from my [ex] primary care physician. He told me if I quit school and stayed home with my children [they were young] like I was supposed to it would lessen my stress and I wouldn't have migraines anymore. My answer was they began in 5th grade- what does a 5th grader know of stress? I lose days at a time, like black holes in my calender.
I take a medications at night as preventative, 2 more preventatives in the morning.
When one begins the blocker is next. If that doesn't work I move on to narcotics; and if that doesn't work it's off to get an injection of morphine. That means dark, cool, quiet room with an eye mask and my head in ice. I lose 2 days usually to the laser light show behind my eyes, the bombs in my head. I get sensory distortion with my aura's so now my family and I joke that Alice fell in the black hole again. The sink can feel up to my chin or at my hips, along with all the "normal" visuals of spots, shadows, blurry. A bowl of cherries. Triggers are many and varied-In 40 years I found most of them I think and do my best to work around them.
My discouragement is highest when my boss hands me Medical Leave Act paperwork to fill out "for my protection"-and I'm not out a lot-4days every 3 mos or so. Or when I can't keep plans with family and I hear "she's got a headache-again". Mostly my family is understanding-but let's face it-it you haven't wished you'd just pass out to get away from the pain while your vomiting - you just don't really understand. You can only try. So I was so flippen happy when I stumbled on the site last night!! it's like every holiday all at once because-OMG-YOU DO KNOW! That fact alone is just worth so much to me....
I am not alone, other's know the pain, the feelings of disappointing family, the struggle to keep up with all the triggers and weather changes and pollen counts and dust bunnies, the mental engery expended when you are able to keep family plans of making sure you won't be in glaring sun too much, won't get overheated, dehydrated, and on and on..it just makes me tired. And you get it... in a way only a fellow sufferer can and just knowing that someone else really knows is so hopeful. I am crying as I write.
Thank you, each of you
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