Social Side-Effects of Chronic/Constant Migraines

There are all kinds of systemic effects from having migraines, which are compounded when they move into the chronic/constant state… Having x3 types (migraine with aura, ocular migraine, brain stem migraine) just ups the challenges…

On any given day I look like:
♦ drawing down one side of face - making me look like I’m relaxed and uptight at the same time
♦ drawing up one side of the face - making one eyebrow look like Star Trek’s Spock upon being surprised
♦ very red in the eyes, and swollen around the eyes, with deep dark circles - ocular migraine
♦ pasty faced - yes, I do know that I am “white as a sheet” today

On any given day I can act like:
♦ I can be a little lost
• I will eventually figure out that holding up my building front door fob in front of the elevator button doesn’t work
• time and place are difficult to grab hold of when I start shutting down
• the more spiking triggers in the place, the shorter the time I have before I start to shut down
• I know I just told them I live on the 3rd floor; no, I have no idea why that came out of my mouth
♦ the right word just isn’t coming to mind, although I can describe it in detail
• you know, that thing that’s round at the end that you use to pick up food to eat… yeah, that’s it… “spoon”
♦ train of thought keeps becoming like a hamster wheel going nowhere fast
• by the look in your eyes, I’ve already asked you that… several times
♦ I know it looks for all the world like I’m tracking with what you are saying, but your words are filtering through so much pain and cloudy-headedness that the info just didn’t arrive fully loaded, and certainly didn’t stay for very long

Interacting with someone with chronic migraine:
♦ a severe neurological/migraine disorder does not take away my intelligence
• my ducks may not be in a row right now, but the ducks are still present
♦ don’t talk louder and slower
• I’m wincing because it hurts my head, not because I’m not getting what you are saying
♦ please be done with telling me constantly what I should be or shouldn’t be doing
• I am 65 years old, and I’ve not run with scissors yet
♦ It Just Is What It Is…
• the “why” I have a migraine is because I woke up today… for 7 years of days
• just flow with what is for me, please don’t tell me I must not be so bad because I’m not _________
• don’t compare me in this moment to others in their moments; my journey is unique to me
• BTW, lying flat in bed just increases the pain in my head; please stop insisting that I go back up to my apartment and lie down – I need distraction from it all when I can get some
• I’ve learned some amazing coping skills in the last 7 years of living with this – or I wouldn’t be out of my apartment for this little while right now interacting with you
• I’d love a smile… just be OK with me… the fact that I am out of my apartment at all is a good thing

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