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The time of my life??

I need some serious advice from chronic sufferers. I am new to the chronic category. Fresh this year. I've been episodic my whole life but for some reason I changed. I'm trying all the treatments I can, most don't work. Botox is fair. Tried all the pills, injections, patches. Depression has gotten the best of me. I still work full time because I have no choice, but I miss a lot. But I have zero personal life because work is all the sensory overload I can handle and more.
My point? All my adult life I have celebrated my bday with my girlfriends on a weekend getaway at the beach. And for years we planned this year THIS year my big 40 to go to Vegas. Part of me is seriously in denial. I can't give it up. I've been planning this last hurrah for years. I've been reading all the vacation posts but I can barely go out to a restaurant right now. I need someone in MY shoes to talk sense to me. My friends are understanding that's not the problem, it's me. I am still haven't such a hard time letting go of the life I had.

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