Tired of the Invisible Disease

screamI have had migraines since I was about 16, although they were not diagnosed as migraines until I was in my 30’s. My husband died when I was 40. I remarried 2 years ago. The headaches have been manageable , 2-3 a year, that I can handle. Until March of last year when I started with a severe migraine, which turned into a daily headache. I have seen my PCP as well as 2 different neurologists, been put on numerous medications with no relief. I have had a CT scan and an MRI of the brain which showed nothing, thank goodness. But I have been suffering with the headaches on a daily basis for well over a year and no one can figure out what to do.

I really think people are just tired of listening to me and just blow me off. My husband is as supportive as he can be but with him starting chemo next week I really am not sure how I will handle all of this. I work full time and have to to pay the bills and especially now as we aren’t sure if my husband will be able to work once he starts the chemo treatments. We live paycheck to paycheck and I have to work to keep my insurance. Also if I have to hear one more person tell me it’s stress that is causing these I will scream. I know we have a lot of stress right now and my job is also stressful, and paying the bills is very stressful just trying to rob peter to pay paul, but I keep on going even though most of the time my head feels like it wants to explode. I am 47 and feel 90 sometimes because I am so tired of all this and no one seems to care. That’s because I have always been the strong one. I am always there for everyone and i don’t think anyone realizes that I get tired too. My daughters are terrific but I think they are just over listening to me because my head hurts. I am always the first one everyone comes to for help or when they need anything but no one is there for me when I need help. I start watching my oldest grandson this week too as my daughter and son-in-law are both working 2 jobs and daycare is only during the day so a couple nights a week I will be watching him. He is 2 1/2 and the light of my life but I think sometimes my children forget that i am twice their age and work full-time, and have a sick husband , and then to top if off the migraines just compound my life.

I have researched a migraine specialist but the closest one to me is almost 4 hours away and they do not take my insurance so that option is not feasible.

If I could find one doctor that would just listen to me and offer me some sort of solution and not just keep pushing meds on me. I have tried acupuncture which does help but is not covered by my insurance, herbal supplements, meditation, with no relief. Even the last round of steroids didn’t help. I have not found a trigger yet, although I keep trying.

I am at the end of my rope and really don’t know what else to do. Thank you for the opportunity to vent

Janice Clemens

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