What a struggle

But that would be a very one sided view, "what a struggle." I'm sure we are here because we do just that. I have suffered from Migraines maybe since I was a child. I remember at 9 years of age having such a terrible headache and being so severely depressed, I was hospitalized for 3 days in what at the time my Pediatrician considered a sinus infection.

Now 40, pre-menopausal, and 2 live births later, I remember having my most severe migraine at 21, while pregnant with my now 18 year old daughter. Not until about 5 years ago, did I start suffering from daily headaches. I'm a nurse, you know the you just graduated, have a license to practice, and your headaches, GI bugs, physical ailments, etc. don't qualify or quantify a call out. But these migraines sure did, still I plugged away and went to work.

It has been a truly depressing and debilitating experience. I have status-post migranosus, which means my migraines last for over 72 hours, and I am quite sure most of you know what it is and how to spell it the right way. Shame on the nurse, but I am also on week 4 of this migraine. First one longest ever lasted 2 months about 2 years ago with a 4 hospital day stay, just this past August my migraine lasted 4 months and a 8 day hospital stay. DHE infusion failed sending me into second degree heart block with a heart rate of 29. And I mean not one headache day free. Continuous, miserable, completely draining.

I get the headache mostly on the right side. Auras, odors, the feeling that a blunt object just hit you across the and I lose my balance, can't think, remain confused for hours, stutter, terribly stutter, and spasms. Currently these spasms have become so debilitating, as soon as the Ativan wears out, the spasms return, with a vengeance. My hands flare, smack against my chest, my legs fly up in the air, and I have no control. They are painful, my muscles stiffen.

Anyhow, these headaches have hurt me financially. I can barely work. I have no health insurance because I have no remained long enough at work to retain some. I have recently bought my own private insurance and wonder how I'm going to make it through those payments.

It has been the most debilitating experience, painful in more ways that one. My gentle giant is the most understanding man I know, but I feel this episode has affected our relationship as well. I cry a lot. He says I read to much into things, slow down, rest. Left it pass.

My Neurologist is referring me out to a headache center in Boston, MA, in the meantime, I feel everything else fall apart around me, including myself.