Missing Out Because of Migraine

By Kerrie Smyres

1 min read

Last updated: June 2023

I have missed out on countless holidays, events, and other fun activities with loved ones due to migraine. After being miserable spending a recent holiday alone, I came up with a plan to make the next event I miss a little bit easier.

Article

Working Through My Three Awkward Stages Of Migraine Postdrome

25 comments

Article

Prodrome: Migraine Warning Signs

53 comments

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

Please read our rules before commenting.

jane123
Please tell me about your red/pink glasses. Do they help with migraine?where you get them?
1. Holly Harding Moderator
 <inline-mention username="jane123" user-id="3696300"/> <inline-mention username="Kerrie Smyres" user-id="3788609"/>' glasses are from Theraspecs. This is a company that she actually co-founded and it is one that many in the migraine community are glad she did. The glasses are designed to address light sensitivities for those of us with migraine. This is not meant to be an ad for them- there are other companies now that make similar offers. Look around and see what you find. I have a pair and love them. Glad you liked them- I think they're eye-catching too! Thanks for reaching out! Warmly- Holly <a href='http://-migraine.com' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>-migraine.com</a> team.
2. Kerrie Smyres Moderator
 <inline-mention username="jane123" user-id="3696300"/> As Holly said, I'm wearing TheraSpecs in the video (and wear them every time I look at a screen). My husband created the first pair of TheraSpecs for me and runs the company, so I clearly have some bias, but i love them!
lizi
This is a great idea to have some plans and some things set aside for when my chronic migraine makes me choose to skip an event. I sometimes order out because the last thing I feel like doing is cooking with a migraine. Thank you Kerrie for all the great info and advise through the years! I look forward to what you write and it makes my migraine journey much easier! 🙏👍Liz <img src="/content/images/2023/03/22/768d19fa0f7d514956441c7087d2be9c_medium.jpeg" alt="Female " class="uploaded-image"/>
1. Holly Harding Moderator
 <inline-mention username="lizi" user-id="3681810"/> So glad this (and <inline-mention username="Kerrie Smyres" user-id="3788609"/>' other articles) resonated with you so deeply. She is an incredible resource in this world - not only a source of great knowledge but also of compassion and kindness. Thank you for taking the time to share some of what works for you when you are up against an attack. I agree that we must choose our battles when we are battling migraine. Finding shortcuts to make things a bit easier (like ordering in rather than cooking) can make an enormous difference. So grateful you're with us, Liz. We hope you'll keep sharing your well-earned wisdom with us. Warmly- Holly <a href='http://-migraine.com' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>-migraine.com</a> team. 
2. Kerrie Smyres Moderator
 <inline-mention username="lizi" user-id="3681810"/> Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words.
andrea012
I can completely relate with this situation. For me, many times it’s outdoor events that are often during the hottest part of the day and it zaps my body’s energy for a couple days or actually it’s the anticipation of knowing I’m going to feel worse afterwards. My family and friends “ understand “ when I don’t show up or just don’t plan to attend, but are so weary of me not being present it’s fractured my relationships and I don’t know how to repair them. I go out when I can but it’s not often. I used to get so anxious in anticipation of their silence or their disappointment of my lack of presence. Now, I meditate more and give myself a break. Still the feelings of anxiety are there but I handle it better. Thanks Kerrie for sharing your experiences! They are most helpful!!
1. Holly Harding Moderator
 <inline-mention username="andrea012" user-id="3669417"/> Apologies for the length of this response to you- but I wanted to say I'm so grateful for your insights. You've clearly earned a lot of wisdom along the way in your journey with migraine (which I'm assuming has been lengthy from how much you have learned). I really resonate with what you said about the energy drain that comes from the simple anticipation of an event. All the planning that goes into a life with migraine- the parsing out of how much energy we have to spare and when and where we are likely to crash as a result of what we choose. Are you familiar with the spoon theory? I'm sure you are- but for others who may be reading along- here is a link: https://migraine.com/search?s=spoon%20theory. I love what you said about how you've employed meditation to learn how to let yourself off the hook from the judgment of others. Wonderful and inspiring to hear. I can imagine that finding your way to this must've been challenging. I'm just 'getting there' myself and my journey involved finding a way to truly accept that migraine is not my fault. I've stopped apologizing for it and see it much as a condition like asthma, multiple sclerosis or type 1 diabetes. Migraine is something I was born with - and I've spent my life learning how to manage this condition. It still very much rules every choice I make and if I don't live with great care (and sometimes even if I do), I'll have a flare-up that stops everything. With this clarity in mind, it becomes easy to let go of the judgment of others as I can see it as so clearly misplaced. As to how to repair those relationships lost or strained due to the situation, I tend to believe that, with time, the gems in our lives rise to the top and are worthy of being celebrated- while many others evolve away from us, or we from them - a natural process of growth. Migraine definitely tests relationships as it is impossible for those who have never had the condition to truly understand what it's like. Still, it seems there are some who want to go further than to just 'understand' - and to offer real compassion, love and support. They are a blessing and those are the ones worthy of our limited well-time. And they are lucky to have us, as well! I have found people with migraine to be among the most compassionate, kind and loving people in the world. Thanks so much for sharing with us- we are blessed to have you with us and hope you will keep sharing your hard-earned wisdom with us so that we may learn from you. Warmly- Holly <a href='http://-migraine.com' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>-migraine.com</a> team.
2. Kerrie Smyres Moderator
 <inline-mention username="andrea012" user-id="3669417"/> You're welcome! I'm sorry that you can relate, but am helpful that hearing my experience was helpful. I had to put these strategies in place for Thanksgiving and it really brought some comfort.
grammayumyum
With a migraine attack that is severe enough to keep me away from social events, I have significant nausea, light and sound sensitivity, etc. in addition to severe headache pain. I can’t eat anything with the strong nausea, but opt for sipping cool diluted juice to keep my blood sugar up and the nausea under control. I couldn’t read or watch a movie if I wanted to. I get excruciating eye pain in addition to severe light sensitivity. I have been approved for a talking book library digital reading device that will read a book to me in my quiet dark room at a pace that my brain can understand and a pitch frequency that my sensitized hearing can tolerate. I love that the pace and pitch frequency can be adjusted for good days versus migraine days. Having the sound of a person’s voice in the room with me keeps me from feeling so isolated. 
1. Holly Harding Moderator
 <inline-mention username="grammayumyum" user-id="3748257"/> What a helpful resource! I'm so grateful to you for sharing this information with our community. Many of us live with chronic migraine-like you. I personally find reading books impossible anytime due to the condition. It does lead to a sense of being cut off, as you mentioned. I am intrigued by this idea and relieved it exists. I have found some online apps that can be downloaded that help to read aloud online articles and am grateful for those and do also use audiobooks. However, as I said, there's no way to change pitch and these things can be very jarring when we are in the midst of an attack as you know all too well. Thank you so much for sharing this. If you are open to doing so, I think it would be wonderful if you might be willing to share this on our stories page where it's likely to get more people to see it than here under a comment section of another article. If you are open to doing so, all you need to do is go to our stories page and basically cut and paste what you've written here: <a href='https://migraine.com/stories' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>https://migraine.com/stories</a>. If you are interested in doing this, please let me know if you have any questions about the process. Thanks again! Warmly- Holly <a href='http://-migraine.com' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>-migraine.com</a> team.
2. Kerrie Smyres Moderator
 <inline-mention username="grammayumyum" user-id="3748257"/> I'm so glad you found talking books and that they're helpful for you! Podcasts are my go-to on really rough days, but sometimes they are a little overwhelming. I love the idea of book where you can adjust both the pace and pitch.

Missing Out Because of Migraine

Recommended

Article

Working Through My Three Awkward Stages Of Migraine Postdrome

Article

Prodrome: Migraine Warning Signs

Join the conversation

Community Poll