Mixed Feelings About Pandemic Ending

By Holly Harding

1 min read

In this video, Holly shares her trepidation about returning to normal now that pandemic-related restrictions are lifting. For her, there have been some parts of quarantine that have proved beneficial to her life with migraine. Can you relate to this?

Please share your thoughts on returning to normal post-quarantine and whether or not you found the restrictions helped you in managing migraine.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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Amanda Workman Moderator & Contributor
Holly - (sorry I could not tag you), I hope this finds you doing well. I can honestly say that I am right there with you! While I know how horrible this pandemic has been, some of the safety measures that it implemented did make my life easier. I have autoimmune issues on top of chronic migraine, which made it make extra sense for me to stay home and away from everybody else. Much like you, I do not enjoy having to explain for the 100th time why I cannot attend something because of a migraine - Amanda (migraine team member).
1. tisdale1988 Member
 <inline-mention username="Amanda Workman" user-id="3715820"/> I, too, am anxious about returning to the typical 9-5 stress filled day where I have to act like I don’t have a migraine. At least at home, if need be, I can take a nap or have ice on my neck, etc. But I am replying to you because you mention autoimmune disorders. May I ask what autoimmune disorders you have? Do you see a specialist for this? I ask because I have autoimmune thyroid disease, and am wondering if I have other autoimmune diseases, and if migraine may be a part of this. 🤕 One if my go to emojis.
mbabi1970 Member
Hi Holly. I just want to say that you look great in this video. So calm and beautiful. I remember saying to everyone when we first went into lockdown that this was nothing new for me. Quarantining and home confinement were very easy for me. Not being social or seeing anyone was no different than my daily life anyway, just maybe some added stress from the pandemic. I definitely have more anxiety now than before because friends and family are doing more, even an extra amount to make up for lost time. So I am saying no to more yet again. It's hard but the pandemic somehow gave me strength I didn't have before if that makes sense? I feel more empowered now to stand up for myself and my situation. And some people, certainly not all, are actually sympathetic to my situation because they now understand what I have been going through for decades. Still a struggle. That won't ever go away. And my heart breaks for anyone who has suffered from COVID or lost a loved one, it's unimaginable. So stay safe everyone. Make decisions that are right for you and not everyone else. And if you are feeling anxious about getting back to real life or the new normal, ease into it as slowly as you can. Much love to this entire community. xo Michele <inline-mention username="Holly Harding" user-id="3755969"/> 
1. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="mbabi1970" user-id="3831011"/> What beautiful supportive words of guidance and compassion, Michele. We are so blessed to have you in this community. I do understand what you mean about finding your footing and voice in feeling more justified and strong to speak your truth and express your needs regarding setting healthy boundaries for yourself and your health. I think a lot of it is about how you frame things for yourself and for others so that you see setting boundaries as a healthy and empowering step rather than something to be embarrassed about. It's so easy to get gummed up in feelings of somehow coming up short, or not coming through when we set boundaries or cancel plans - but I think a lot of it has to do with getting to know our limits and being proactive about it ahead of time. I'm still learning this! When I got back from my vacation recently, a friend asked if I would go with her on a one-night beach trip the very next week after I'd returned. I knew I didn't have the energy for it as I'd only just gotten back. I needed to catch my breath, unpack, and just BE at home after being away for a couple weeks. But, I felt too guilty to say no and felt some pressure to go. So, I didn't listen to my gut and agreed. Of course, my head acted up more and more as the day approached and I had to cancel. I left her in the lurch and she was upset. If I had been able to stand more firmly in my footing and just clearly say- "No thanks, I know my limits and that's just too much for me" I would've felt so much better about things. She still likely would've felt disappointed, but it wouldn't have been as bad as canceling last minute. As I get older, I'm getting a lot better at owning who I am without apology. Also: Introverts are different from extroverts- no worse, no better! Realizing that, and being okay with claiming my introversion has been huge for me. Hard in a society that so values extroverts. Still figuring things out! Glad to be in this with you, Michele! Stay in touch. Warmly, Holly (migraine.com team).
tisdale1988 Member
This feeling of anxiety related to returning to our normal lives, while living with chronic migraine, was not identified by me until I read this article and watched your video. I am happy (skeptically) that the heavy burden of Covid is behind us and people can engage safely is obviously good, but personally I was not terribly effected by quarantine because staying home by myself is my normal. I didn’t have to worry about keeping up with my friends and family (especially my husband) and going to places with loud music, smells, and other triggers. I was able to keep my sleep schedule regular, my diet relatively safe, and didn’t miss a single day of work (I was teaching online). Now the thought of having to adapt to a crazy schedule, smiling throughout the day, dealing with all the triggers out in the world, is worrying me. As much as I don’t want Covid to cause the pain it did the last 18 months, I’d be happy to stay at home for another 18 months. I feel terribly guilty saying that. But, if I could work from home for another year, I would be a year away from retiring-and wouldn’t need to worry about missing work, and all the other restrictions migraines puts on my work life. Thanks for bringing this tension to light. 
1. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="tisdale1988" user-id="3905931"/> Oh, how fascinating! This upcoming school year of re-entry back into school stands between you and retirement. Makes all the sense in the world that, after a year of experiencing such a different world of teaching, you would be feeling some trepidation. A dear friend of mine is a teacher, and while she knows it's best for the kids to be in the classroom, she did enjoy the unique experience of the last year in many ways and now - is watching with bated breath about this Delta variant and how it might impact the coming year. That's yet another source of tension- the unknown that comes with the ongoing instability of the situation and how it will impact us all. I really feel for you as a teacher managing migraine. Glad you chimed in and will be thinking of you. Stay in touch. Warmly, Holly (migraine.com team).
2. Melissa Arnold Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="tisdale1988" user-id="3905931"/> Don't feel guilty. The pandemic was a mixed bag for many of us, I think -- the comfort of home, less hassle from commuting and more family time are all positive things, and there's no shame in admitting it. In fact, I think those little bright spots have been really critical to focus on in those times when worry and constantly changing information gets to be too much. I wish you all the best in these final years of work -- it's not an easy time to teach, and I hope you can find moments that bring you joy each day. 😀 -Melissa, <a href='http://migraine.com' target='_blank'>migraine.com</a> team
3360 Member
I've heard my wife express EXACTLY these feelings about the pandemic. I tried -- not always successfully -- to use her comfort with the "quiet and smaller life" that the pandemic forced upon us a positive for both of us. 
1. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="3360" user-id="4213873"/> Thanks so much for chiming in about this. Such an interesting time this has been! Glad this piece resonated with you and your wife. And glad you're with us in our community! Warmly, Holly (migraine.com team).
violetcrumble Member
I'm the wife of 3360, and yes, I've felt and expressed these same feelings. It took until very recently to speak them out loud, for reasons I know many of you understand: Much of the rest of the world just doesn't get it, and I hesitate to assert the unthinkable idea that the old normal is what the world needs, as quickly as possible. So, sigh..., I'm holding back more than a little on rejoining life in the ways that are difficult for me, not just because of migraine but because I'm also very much an introvert. Quarantine totally worked for me--time at home, no pressure to be or do or go beyond what I am and can. I also learned a great deal about myself, and I'm aiming to shape my future, with help from my wonderful 3360, in ways that work better than they ever did way back when life was 'normal.' Thanks for a great article.
1. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="violetcrumble" user-id="3896079"/> Love what you shared here and I can definitely relate. Isn't it fascinating how this break from the onslaught of a life of constant stimulation and demands and pressure to live in a way that is contrary to our nature and/or way that our health conditions allow has actually helped to shore our footing and helped to clarify our needs going forward! It has definitely made me release my prior need to constantly apologize when asking for what I required in order to have a successful day. I now feel able to assert myself when stating what I can and can't do. I think having over a year to live in a way that "worked for me" (as you said) has lifted the blinders so I can now claim who I am without apology in a way I just couldn't before. What an unexpected gift. I will say, I now realize there were years that I would get my migraine condition and my increasing introversion mixed up-- so when I felt pressured to do something or go somewhere, I would not know how to get out of it. Flummoxed, I would often point to my migraine condition. I have come to really claim being introverted- to own it as fully as I have the reality of having migraine. Neither or which I've chosen- both of which are a part of me. I've come to see the positive qualities that come with being an introvert - and that it's just as valuable a personality trait as being extroverted. So, I now try to be clear about what's driving my reactions if I'm feeling uncomfortable about a given situation. Just plainly stating that I'm not interested in going to this or that gathering because it's not my kind of thing due to being an introvert, is an empowering statement. There are other ways I prefer to gather with people- to catch up for walks, one-on-one, for instance. And recognizing that my need to gather with others is just not as high as that in someone who is an extrovert- and that's okay! I do believe, as migraineurs, we need to keep a close check on our balance - our reserves- because when we drain those energy reserves, we become vulnerable to attacks. For me, when I overextend myself in a social gathering, I'll come home exhausted- and that will set me up for a not so successful day in terms of migraine the next day. I have to live with such care due to migraine- so my life parameters are super specific. I'm assuming you can relate to this, based on your comment. It's in this way that introversion and migraine are interwoven. We have to take such care with our energy and pacing ourselves to do the best we can to prevent migraine. Asserting ourselves regarding how we move through the world becomes very important. I hope all this makes sense. Please know you are not alone in this- we are all finding our way - and we are here for you and in this with you. Keep in touch - so glad you have such a good support in your partner! Warmly, Holly (migraine.com team).
violetcrumble Member
What you said.....yes, yes, and yes!
Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
Great! Here for you! Stay in touch. Warmly, Holly (migraine.com team).
raelynnsc Member
Hi Holly, I was working from home starting March 2020 and it took me a few days but working from home made my life so much better. We have been back in the office since April 2021 and they have had us do many surveys on our comfort at work. For me......working from home mean I miss less work and so have more vacation time of fun stuff, not just because I am down with a migraine. At home I am able to adjust the lights if I need too. And I don't have to deal with every other person's smells. From food in the microwave to lotions and perfumes. But also, I did not have to say no to invitation because the group was going to a restaurant that I could not eat at. Things in our food supply are on of the BIGGEST triggers for me. So yes, Holly, I understand what you are feeling. Lucky(or unlucky), the friends we hang out with this most, she also has migraines so there is a very high level of understanding. Hope are are able to find some peace, when going back out into the world. Keep your chin up!! 😀
1. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="raelynnsc" user-id="3862983"/> Thank you so much for sharing the way this issue resonates with you. You give such a great description of what it's like to work from home vs. be in the office. Do you think your work is doing surveys because they are considering letting people opt to work from home going forward? I think a lot of businesses are considering that option as it is ultimately a cost-saving one and I think it's one a lot of migraineurs would absolutely embrace for all the reasons you outlined. Thanks again for chiming in and for your kind words. Glad you're here. Warmly, Holly (migraine.com team).
steveo Member
wow, I feel a little bit less guilty now ! My secret is that I don't mind lockdowns ! I thought that made me weird or bad or something ! I think our lives have so much noise in them nowadays that we are often overloaded and that is not good for the migraine sufferer. Thx again for all the help you have given to me and also other people.
1. Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="steveo" user-id="4199987"/> I know what you mean! I felt I was recording some kind of confessional when I made this video. A relief to know we're not alone in this way, for sure! I concur that the world has become a noisy place that is full of overstimulation. Home is place where I can control the noise, temperature, lighting, and smells and this can make such a difference in my ability to tamp down a burgeoning migraine or stop one from starting in the first place. So glad you're with us, steveo. Stay in touch! Warmly, Holly (migraine.com team).

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