Can't Take it Anymore

I've been surviving (because no one who knew my life could call it living) with chronic migraine for over a decade now. By chronic I mean I am in pain every moment of everyday, and by over a decade I mean things went chronic around age 18 and I am now 33.

I had to quit college and go on disability. I can't work, I'd love to find something to do part time at home but everything I think of doesn't seem possible. I still live with my parents and can't afford to move out. Even if I could I am dependent on my mother to cook for me and drive me places. I had to give up driving a few years ago because of the pain.

I haven't been back to my neurologist in years because I don't want to be pressured to be hospitalized again. I often end up crying in his office because it is so cold and the hour or more wait time always cranks up the pain, leaving me weakened when it comes time to standing up for myself. Also I got the impression there was nothing else he could do for me.

I've tried alternative therapies including botex, herbs, supplements, acupuncture, massage, diets, etc. with little success. I'd try more if I could afford it. I feel like I've been mentally screaming "I can't take it anymore!" for years but the pain just keeps coming. I'm watching my life waste away and don't know what to do.