superseabee95
I think when you live with severe chronic migraine I mean migraine that is daily. Everyone stops believing the severity of your pain because your pain becomes normal to them. They think that because you are pushing through and survivng each day that it isnt as bad as you portray it to be. I stopped talking about my pain with my family because its pointless. They will never understand it and there is no point talking about it because it isnt their pain. Migraine is an evil efliction that once resistant to medication destroys your soul and robs you of any joy you once had. Dr's are lame and have no clue how to manage the daily agony that medication resistant migraineurs endure.
Nancy Harris Bonk Moderator
I hear how frustrating, difficult and exhausting it is to live with chronic migraine - you're not alone. We understand and are here for you.
I believe you've described how many of us feel - pushing through pain and life pretending we are OK as not to show how truly debilitated migraine has left us.
I hope today is a lower pain day, will you keep me posted on how you are doing? Nancy Harris Bonk, Patient Leader/Moderator Migraine.com Team
JSX2 Member
Cheryl Picerno Moderator
CommunityMember2396 Member
Cheryl Picerno Moderator
Emmy234 Member
I’ve had doctors tell me it’s fibromyalgia, my depression & anxiety (which definitely make it worse), and my favorite - “Given your injuries, you shouldn’t be in this much pain.” Gee thanks. LOOK AT MY MRI!
Right now, my CM has worsened both in duration (3-4d) and pain level (7-😎, and thus my depression and anxiety are awful. Getting up, taking my meds, forcing myself to eat, and getting dressed are major accomplishments. I can’t work - haven’t been able to for 2 years - and am applying for disability. I have 2-4 headache-free days, (lowest since the accident), 9-10 headache days, 17-18 migraine days a month. A migraine means I have about 45 minutes after I take my meds to get home, get into soft clothes in our cool, dark, silent bedroom (a fan helps a lot for gentle white noise). Otherwise I can’t drive, let alone function.
It’s exhausting. I live in a mental fog and I don’t know if it’s my depression or CM, but does it matter? I’m numb. I’m on more meds than I can count. We have to take two cars when we go out unless it’s just us. I’ve missed so many events because the noise, lights, or timing will trigger an attack. I feel incredibly guilty for “doing this” to my family, despite my therapist and my rational mind reminding me I wouldn’t wish CM & depression & anxiety on my worst enemy. I feel like I’m a burden. I try to deny when I’m getting a headache or migraine but we all know that’s foolish and unhelpful.
If there is an upside, it’s that I’ve learned and changed a lot. I will only work with medical providers who listen, support me, and help. I REFUSE to work with anyone who questions my pain or doesn’t coordinate with my other doctors (esp. my shrink). I’d see a therapist even if I didn’t have depression because she validates my emotions, fears, and pain while helping me work through it as best I can. I have to ask for what I need, affirm my needs are valid, and realize many of my “wants” are “needs.” I must be honest with myself, my hubby (especially), my family, and friends. I can’t live in denial, and “pushing through” always makes it worse and last longer. I didn’t cause this, I’m not exaggerating, I’m not at fault - and all I can do is keep trying and be persistent. Fight/advocate for myself like I do for my kids. Care for myself like I care for my family. Give myself the unconditional love and support I give them.
It’s brutal, but at some point it will get better. It has to. Because that, and my family, are what I hold on to. Hang in there —
Kimberly.broughal Moderator
Warmly,
-Kim (Team Member)