caret icon Back to all discussions

Getting denied to go to Dr?

The other week I was having a terrible migraine and was on my 3rd day of it, I called my local clinic at 11:00 to see if my dr would let me come up for my usual meds they give me. The nurse said she would message the Dr and call me back in an hour. By 3 I had heard nothing so I called them back. The nurse said they had spoke to my pain Dr who is an hour and half away and she said they told them to tell me to just use my tens unit and ice. Like really you don’t think I have tried that? So needless to say they didn’t want to see me or help me and made me feel like a drug seeker. And if I was up to driving yes I would have made the drive to see my pain Dr. But when you’re throwing up and laying in bed with a throbbing migraine that makes things difficult. Anyone else face this dilemma and feel like an idiot for asking for help??

  1. Yes— I had this problem with other doctors “treating” my headache, until I found my current headache neurologist about 1-1/2 hr drive away. I saw about six other docs before finding my current one. I also have quite a few other Med problems, and the story is the same. Physicians can be any or all of the following: overwhelmed, not knowledgeable about your condition, fear lawsuits & losing license, have “gatekeeping” staff that won’t get the message to the doc (either is told that by docs, is office “protocol”, or decide for themselves), don’t feel they know you well enough, just mistrusting & set in their perceptions, they are not very good, they are not really compassionate, think they know more than they do, they don’t listen or believe a woman’s symptoms (hysterical if we cry, it’s in our heads if they can’t figure it out, or if we have a few or many symptoms-we are hypochondriacs, or they are sexist & just don’t take women seriously) , they have personal problems that affect their job (for ex, very sick spouse, wife is due with quadruplets, husband died, they are sick, etc.) or some are creeps, some just don’t want to deal with you, having a bad day, etc.... just like all other jobs.
    *BUT*— there are also many doctors & medical personnel that are THE VERY OPPOSITE of what I listed above- generous, kind, empathetic, very knowledgeable, are very talented, motivated to figure it out, treat you with respect and listen to all of your symptoms, do their best, have a great and cooperative practice, is good at getting back to patients,is available more than others, spends extra time with you if you need it, recognizes when they run out of ideas, refer you to someone who does, etc.

    My experience has shown me that as with most encounters—-headache doctors, headache treatments, etc— the cliché holds; You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your handsome prince......or spouse, or hairdresser or gynecologist or best friend or.....Headache Doctor.
    The “frog-kissing” can be painful, insufferable,confusing, embarrassing, degrading, depressing, —- I’ve gone through all of that with many docs, Er doc, personnel, etc & it suc& !
    When it becomes apparent that my doctor or their office has stalled, is not responsive or has run out of ideas...I begrudgingly & sometimes exasperatingly try to discuss with doc during an appt, and or get my records & find a different, hopefully better one.
    Have you tried a neurologist that was trained to treat head pain? I have a pain doc for other pain, and a “headache doc” for chronic Daily migraine—- my headache doc & staff know far more about migraine than my family doc, regular pain doc, general neurologist, etc.
    I’m very sorry you are having such a rough time! My experience has been to go to headache neurologist for pain and symptoms due to migraine. I hope you feel better soon! The “feeling like an idiot” part should go away once you spend more time reading here that others have experienced the same— and it’s not you.

    PS- I apologize to you and everyone on this site for being so, so wordy. I’ve had some crazy cognitive & focus difficulties over the past 2 yrs, that has resulted in my talking too much, and “ typing” too much.

    Please read our rules before posting.