I've had it

Hi - Just want to say I don't think this is a pity party at all. Sounds like this was a really tough time for you and I'm actually glad you took a moment to share here. Seems like you might not have a space like this at home to really get it out and actually feel heard. So thank you for sharing here. I know many in this community can relate to what you've shared. I've heard many other people here share how hurtful/harmful it can be to feel misunderstood and just not supported by loved ones. But I do want to say that it sounds like you've had a solid 4 months. That's something to celebrate! I know it can be really disappointing to have migraine creep back in but it also seems like you've been doing a lot to try to manage symptoms and that it has been working. I'd be curious to hear more about the food intolerance test. Was that helpful for you?

Also just want to acknowledge that it sounds like you have been doing a lot and trying to be there for your family, which maybe hasn't really been acknowledged by them. That can be so tough especially when you are fighting a battle they can't quite see or don't seem to fully understand. Putting on a baby shower while trying to manage migraine is no small feat!! Well done! I can hear how much you can about your family and how you want to be there for them. I've also heard others hear share how frustrating migraine can be since so many factors can be outside of their control just like you described. Seems like you ran into the perfect storm of triggers, unfortunately. And going through all of that only to be met by criticism can be really tough. But with all this said, please keep sharing how you’re doing, Lisa. You’re not alone in this. We’re here to listen and support you.

- Jake (Team Member)

Thank you , you wrote this so more eloquently than I did - so to the point, like you read my mind. I will go back and reference it next time I feel the storm coming. I took a food intolerance test (one on Amazon) - it was very detailed, but the biggest thing for me was (I think) basically giving up diet soda and processed food (in a nutshell). Watermelon...of all things that are sooo good for migraine, I'm intolerant to - I wondered as I get so bloated after I eat watermelon and just don't feel so good. I have been taking care of our son too who has alcohol issues, so that has been intense. He in turn, has taken great care of me, so there is an upside. Its just the rest of the family that just doesn't get it. It is just so hard to speak up to family and say "hey...think I'm getting a migraine"...and be teased. No amount of trying to educate them, etc. has helped. My husbands family sees anyone who is "different" as a castoff - his uncle committed suicide because he found out he had cancer. When I asked why would he do that, there are many things to help now, his family looked at me like I had three heads. "Well his wife wouldn't want to take care of him for one thing, and now she can be free to do what she wants". Whatever ever happened to in sickness and in health. My daughters gush over their Dad if he stubs his toe, me...oh mom is whining again about her stupid head. Again, I've tried to educate. So when they want help it really takes all I have to be a bigger person. Thank goodness for this forum, you guys are my support system. Thank you so much for all you do. Knowing you are "here for me" (and others) means so much, it makes a huge difference in our quality of life. Seriously, it lifts up out of the dark side. Again, many thanks. You are a lifesaver.

VALIDATED...that is the word I was looking for...as you well know us folks have a hard time finding our words. That's what I was looking for - like...is this all in my head? No, it's not. I want to help, I want to do things. I'd love to boat, go on carnival rides, etc. On the fortunate side, I have no death sentence, but like the amputee, cancer patient, etc. I have my limitations, but I do want to enjoy life, just within my boundaries. Boundaries have always been hard - my husband does not know any! Unfortunately...he taught one of our daughters the same thing. I'm fortunate to have a couple of people in my family who are empaths, and yes - I did make strides going migraine free for four months! Yay for me, thanks for reminding me! And I need to quit depending on others for validation. I did find a great source on You Tube, "Therapy in a Nutshell". So far, so good.

I'm so, so sorry that you're in such a hard place right now. 🙁 Migraine sucks. Migraine likes to strike when you're least expecting it to screw up plans. I'm glad that you have had some months free of migraine. That's great! It's great that you took the food intolerance test too to give you ideas of what could be causing issues! Great job at being proactive on that!

Families are hard, especially when people are not supportive and they don't understand boundaries. I know you've been trying to educate and that's great, but I'm sorry it's not working. Perhaps a family "meeting" is something that needs to happen? Something along the lines of "Yes, I still get migraines. Yes, they are still debilitating. You're teasing does not help and in fact it hurts. I need support, not dismissal".

I don't know if it'd help. I don't know if those words are even helpful or if you've used them already. You are NOT worthless/useless/whatever word your brain is trying to give you. You have migraine. All you can do is your best each day and that may look different each day. Monday you may be able to run errands and get a whole list of things done. Tuesday-Thursday you may be down because of the migraine and "doing your best" may look like taking care of yourself, taking appropriate medications, being in a dark room to rest, etc. and that's exactly what you're supposed to be doing. That's your best for the day and that's okay.

As far as I know, there's no "cure" for migraine. Yes, we can learn what triggers them and stay away from those things. Yes, there are medications that can help get rid of the pain and side effects. But there is no cure. We have to just remind ourselves that we're doing our best and that's what counts. Sending love your way.