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Reference to illness in a holiday card

Hi, friends!

My husband and I were picking out Father's Day cards today, and we were surprised to find a card that referenced chronic illness. Something to the effect of: "I always know that you care for us, even on the days you're not feeling your best. You're still an amazing dad."

We both really liked those sentiments, But we also don't have migraine, so our perspective is that of an outsider.

What do you think about this? Would it make you feel seen and validated to have a loved one acknowledge your struggle in this way, or would you rather them not bring it up?

I'm sure there will be a range of opinions on this. Super curious to see what everyone thinks!

Have a peaceful week. 😀 -Melissa, migraine team

  1. Hi - this is a wonderful topic to explore. I've not seen a card with mention of one's struggles or an alluded chronic illness. I would hope the giving individual would take into consideration relationship status, the depth of which my illness is discussed within the family/friendship structure, as well as the message expressed. Chronic illness is a hard topic to tackle, especially for those who do not live with one day in and day out. A message with "I hope you begin to feel better" or "We know you are strong enough to beat this" is more aimed at an injury or acute illness where days ahead one will or should return to their normal selves. But what do you say to someone who manages a chronic illness? Well ... I hope it would include a message with support - "I'll be here every step of the way" or "How can I help you manage things better?" Or take into consideration a message aimed at helping us through the fear and anxiety brought on by our illness - "Sending you wishes of relaxation as you manage each day going forward".

    Just a thought on my part. Hope others chime in and give their thoughts. Warmly - Rebecca (team member)

    1. I wouldn’t mind getting a card acknowledging the struggle.
      Another irritating part of a migraine is when the headache is not extremely strong but you still have the other invisible symptoms. Like nausea, dizziness, brain fog, fatigue… I have had to learn to say I have a migraine if someone asks me what is wrong. In the past I would only acknowledge the migraine when my head hurt. This has helped me with the self doubt I carry because of them.
      So yes, a card acknowledging the suffering in my case would be nice.
      Of course when I was younger I would have said no! I refused to acknowledge the damage migraines had on my life and tried to live life as if I didn’t have a problem. That did not work!

      1. I agree! A card of acknowledgment would be a wonderful thing. Maybe someday?
        It can be a long process accepting we have a neurological disease. It took me YEARS to understand this and I fought it every step of the way. Being in my "golden years" (not sure what is so golden about them) I've come to accept it.
        Thank you for being part of our community and I'm sending you pain free wishes, Nancy Harris Bonk, Patient Leader/Moderator (Team Member)

      2. Understanding and support from others can make a huge difference, for you as well as those around you. And recvg a card from those in your immediate circle can acknowledge your struggles and validate your experience. Migraine IS more than just head pain. I'm glad to see you've adjusted how you communicate about your illness. It is a significant step in self-awareness and self-advocacy. We stand strong behind you - best of days ahead. Rebecca (team member)

    2. I appreciate this discussion! Ultimately, we did actually buy the card for a loved one who has chronic migraine. He seemed to like it. By far the greater focus was on the fact that he is a good dad and that we are grateful for him, even in those moments he's not feeling great. I love knowing that there are a greater variety of cards out there now acknowledging all kinds of circumstances. 😀 -Melissa, team member

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