Back to all discussions

Stop Telling Me To Be Optimistic.

If one more person, one more time, says that I’m “not being very optimistic,” I may scream. Do I WANT to say “I CAN’T” all the time? Of course not!
My boyfriend has a “well if you can do ____, that means you can do ____, habit. Where he gets these equivalencies, I don’t know - logic, I suppose. Logic, however, has never done me any favors with this illness. Quite the opposite.
So anyway, when I tip-toe through an explanation of why driving twenty minutes to a 5 minute doc appointment doesn’t mean I can drive twenty minutes to go apple picking; I get “well it doesn’t seem different to me” ... and “I’m just trying to be more optimistic.”
This simply isn’t ABOUT optimism. I bet YOU HERE all see the difference between the two.
“You could be more optimistic” feels pretty similar to “you could just try harder”... when I’m trying as hard as I can to cope with this ever-changing, complicated, life-robbing monster of an illness.
Anyone else get the “optimism” finger pointed at you?
HOW do you HANDLE it? I am at a loss.☹️

  1. It sounds like you have a boyfriend who is very uneducated about the realities of chronic illness. He needs to do some reading. Really sorry he isn't being more supportive of you. Hugs.

    or create an account to reply.