What is my life.....

This is not a complaint but to try and Help those understand who don't .......
What is chronic migraine? Well, it's really bad headaches. In my case, anywhere from 3-6 days out of every week, usually the later. They are so severe that your eyes water unwillingly, even when you can suppress crying due to the necessity to work and run your life. Your vision is a mess with blotches and flashing colors and there is a pit in your stomach from the onset. Light hurts, noise hurts, taste hurts, everything hurts. You feel nauseous even if you don't vomit, which you try really hard not to do because if you do, you compound the pain with an added intensity of brain throbbing as a result that will make you ponder suicide, no matter your religious background. You lose all vanity when your family, co-workers, and employees see you laying on the floor of an office whilst trying to pull yourself together enough to manage the drive home. You wonder every time how there isn't a more serious issue going on. How can there be this much pain without something else??
You complain not because you want to, but because you are constantly trying to make sure those around you understand that you aren't a total wreck and that you may not remember what's been said because you will likely not remember. You feel like a burden on those around you because of the complaining and you know that everyone, no matter how much they love you are going to get sick of hearing about it, but just because they are tired of hearing it, doesn't stop the pain so what can you do???
You often go to bed and quietly cry yourself to sleep and pray you don't wake up in the same situation you fell asleep in, and that's only if you can sleep because when you are in a great deal of pain, sleep doesn't come easy, and yes you can wake up from a migraine, they get that bad if they develop in the night.
You pray for this one to be the last one and hope for the best. But day after day they return.....
I suffer in what seems to be a solitary confinement. I feel alone in the intensity and prolonged episodes. I have tried it all, the preventative, beta blockers, ant-seizure medications which have helped briefly, but you see, migraines have a nasty way of quickly becoming immune to medications. I have tried drugs, which most often make me vomit and as discussed earlier is a literal nightmare and the same fate as the preventative they are short lived if tolerated. You waste cash on every item you learn might help from herbal teas, to forehead rubs, special earphones, binaural beat sounds, scents, etc.
I have suffered since the age of approximately 4, some 39 years now. I've had all the tests, seen the damage by way of white matter disease which not only progresses with every migraine but is brain damage. I am looking at the distinct possibly of literally losing my mind as a result of what I now call my "curse" to bear in this lifetime. I have worked my whole life, I work though it. How does one do that? Well, if you've ever been ill at work, seriously ill and felt as though you might vomit.....and make it home then immediately vomit, that's how this works. I manage and when I get home it all comes crashing down for my family to deal with......
Why the sudden rant here. Well there is a new revolution in the fight against migraines. It is a non invasive item that is giving it's regular users 77% relief with a 77% decease in prescription medications with the treatment.
It has been out in Europe and Canada for the last year and was recently FDA approved on March 12th 2014. In Europe and Canada this item does not require an Rx as it is a TENS treatment. However, in the US it does. This means another wasted trip to the neurologist, because they won't even discuss it without paying to get in the door, trust me I called to ask if it would be even considered an option prior to wasting the cash to go in which no one has laying around, and was promptly told I would need to come in. All government agencies need to get their hands in the pie. So, I think to myself, do I potentially waste all the cash ordering from an out of country site on something that has a 70% success rate or what?? Well, as soon as I get a migraine I can tell you all bets are off, panic sets in.....I've ordered items at 2am you'll do anything....Shouldn't need to be that hard.......I am one of many, but feel like the only one......am I meant to continue to suffer??