My Struggle with Depression and Migraine in 2020

Content Warning: Please know that within this article are themes of depression, mental health, suicidal ideation, and treatment.

If you or someone you love is experiencing suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline; Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish at 800-273-8255 or suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/.

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In these situations, such an important factor: Remember, do not carry the guilt of medications not working. You didn't fail the medication(s) - the medication(s) failed you.

Find the care you deserve

The doctor/patient relationship is always such an important thing I talk to patients and educate others about. Only you know your body well enough, and you don't deserve to be in such turmoil of excruciating head pain, as well as a terrible pain taking up space in your head and your heart.

Mental health is so important

The rate of suicide among those with migraines is a terrible statistic. One thing I can definitely recommend (as a patient, not a medical provider) is seeking out a therapist, even if you don't struggle consistently. Seeing someone even once a month is great. Taking care of your heart and brain is just as important, if not more important, than your physical health; you can't have good mental health if your physical health isn't being addressed, and you certainly can't be 100% physically healthy if you don't approach the same way with mental health.

I was struggling in 2020

I lost myself while dealing with a severe bout of migraines during the entire year of 2020 and into this year. I admit that I attempted to take my life before ultimately seeking help, and I don't want this for any community member. If we can help others, it would be to encourage them to go to therapy, consider a combination of medication and therapy when you discuss this with your care team. My care team kept me here. They kept me safe during a time that my body was struggling so much and so strained that I lived with migraines every single hour of the day.

My road to recovery

It took a while for me to recover, both mentally and physically. I went back on a preventive migraine medication, which ultimately ended up interacting with another medication I take for PTSD and depression. So, we monitor it through frequent blood pressure readings and increase and decrease when we need to. I've been through a lot medically so far in 2021, so taking those measurements is important and being consistent in this routine is up to me - that is something I can control.

A care team safety net

I've lived with a combination of migraines and major depressive disorder most of my life, starting at age 14. I struggle less knowing that I have a safety net in my therapist, neurologist, and psychiatrist. It didn't happen overnight, and I've been sought inpatient treatment for depression and suicidal thoughts many times over the last 3 years. I continue to go through the struggles, but being honest with my care team - sometimes painfully honest, has been the best way to help myself while struggling physically.