I Just Smashed My Head on the Ceiling

Ever since I had my first aura, I’ve been en edge. I mean, why wouldn’t you? Vision is like a top 5 sense to have, so of course, it would be detrimental if that were to fail. So when I had my first aura, I had a lot of mixed reactions. I was mesmerized by the swirling distortions. My friends' and classmates’ faces turned into Picassos and just like that. It moved out of sight and thus out of mind.

Aura followed by immeasurable pain

We all know it didn’t though. The immeasurable pain I felt afterward was like nothing I’ve ever known. When sleep can’t even wash the pain away, and you have to live with it, just stewing in, you know you’re in your own living hell. A hell-scape from which you can’t escape.

With that kind of pain, this type of warning sign has made me very conscientious (or paranoid) like… every day of my life. Every time I have a low-level pulsing migraine, I get nervous that it will spike and not be quelled by my naproxen sodium or RELPAX.

An old house with low ceilings

My family and I are moving from Buffalo, New York, to Long Island, NY. Since moving back home after COVID, I’ve sort of become attached to their plans! We’re staying in renting a house while my parents shop for a permanent one, and let me just say… this place is old. The outlets only have two hole plug ports (no ground), there is only old broadband internet which is inoperable, and it’s a cellphone DEAD ZONE!!

The ceilings on this abode are older as well. The second-floor ceiling slopes down, hugging the slanted roof outside, so I am constantly finding myself dodging and ducking to avoid being brain-smashed. So, of course, when I smashed my head against the wall just now, I felt just GREAT about it.

Which is why we’re here. I had opened up a pull-out couch just to stand up INTO the ceiling. Were people not 6 foot in 1918 when this place was built?! How can you have a ceiling so low?! Anyway, SO here I am, sitting here typing through the throbbing pain to relay this story.

Checking my vision

No, I don’t think I gave myself a concussion, but it’s something I have to worry about seriously. After I hit my head and that familiar pain set in, I did what I always do and am actually currently doing. I check my focus. I often will miss an aura with so much visual stimulation going on all the time in my experience. Plus, with being a glasses wearer, blurry or distorted vision isn’t something I always focus on, so I check my hands.

I block everything out of view, limiting stimuli, and trace the lines on my hands, making sure I can see everything in my field of vision. Does it look wild when I have my hand right in front of my noodle? Perhaps. What’s more important is if I take my safety precautions to make sure I’m safe. Yes, I may be scared a lot, but I would rather be overly cautious every time I bump my head or accidentally stare into a strobe light rather than pay the consequences.

Taking any and all precautions

Ever since that first aura, I live life taking precautions everywhere I go. It may fuel anxiety and trigger migraine attacks, but I still try to keep tools to help me. I have prescription sunglasses, and I carry my relief meds. I avoid harsh smells and bright lights, artificial sweeteners, and high stress — everything I can do to keep myself from migraine. Being clumsy and smashing my head wasn’t on that list. I can now say, with painful certainty, that it is now.