Don’t Judge Me by My Mobility Aids
I have chronic migraine and suffer from severe vertigo on and off. It was actually vertigo that led to the migraine diagnosis many years ago. I guess I must be thankful for that. I was so unstable that the doctors thought I had multiple sclerosis.
What did they do to rule out MS?
I was immediately admitted to the hospital from the emergency room. My pulse rate was high also, and during this time, I kept a low-grade fever. I was put on the telemetry floor due to the heart rate. On the first full day of this admission, I saw multiple doctors. They did brain and spinal MRIs. I had neurologists and surgeons come in because they were unsure of the diagnosis. The neurologist had me walk and bend over. It was determined that my gait was very unsteady. I was falling and tripping a lot. They performed several neurological tests. I am pleased that all of those tests were negative for spinal lesions and whatever else had them thinking of MS, in the beginning.
How did they get to a migraine diagnosis?
I am not sure how they came up with a diagnosis of migraine. It is possible that they arrived there through a process of elimination. I was so drugged up that I honestly do not remember. I do know that they trialed numerous anti-nausea medications as well as started me on gabapentin and verapamil, during this time.
What mobility aids do I need?
I was confined to my bed while I was hospitalized. On the day of discharge, though, they had me try to walk on my own. I could not at this point. The doctor prescribed a walker, as I was too unstable for a cane. I was told that once my mobility is better, I could bring the walker back, and I would get a cane. I had the walker for a little over two months. I then had to prove that I was stable enough for the cane.
I improved and took the walker back. I got my first cane. I had to use this device for a couple of years. I liked the cane better than the walker, but I still felt ashamed to use it.
Why did I feel ashamed?
When I was younger, I was ashamed of using any assistive devices. I was in my late 20s and felt like I was too young for that. I thought that others’ looks or words mattered. I did get stares often. I had even seen people pointing and laughing. No one thinks they will ever need that until it happens to them.
What other assistive devices have I used?
Since that time, I have had to use other things. My vertigo became less problematic, but my back, hips, severe hypotension, and even post-op conditions have caused me to need a rollator and wheelchair. My go-to on good days is the rollator. I save the wheelchair for when I have assistance to push it, and I need to go farther.
What have I learned?
I have learned that:
- No one’s opinions matter except your own.
- If you need it, you should use it, despite the stares.
- A doctor prescribed the aid to better your life.
- Do not be afraid, but embrace your new way of doing things.
- You still matter!
Time has made me more self-aware, and just appreciate that I can get the modality devices. I am happier that I do not care what other people may think about me. I actually hope that people will ask why I use a certain device. This gives me an opportunity to share my health story. I hope anyone reading this will also know that no matter what life brings, embrace it and use it to your full potential.
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