A Migraine for 10 Years.
Last updated: December 2021
Hi. I’m Carrie. I turned 30 last week, (and celebrated by throwing it back to the '90s). I have a chronic illness and first started having health issues when I was 20, and it’s not easy to sit with the fact that it’s officially been ten years since having my first headache, which still hasn’t fully gone away.
A painful decade
Ten birthdays of being in pain. And ironically, the past week was one of the most debilitating weeks of severe pain I’ve had in a while. By the time Friday afternoon came around, I was much improved but still thought about calling off all birthday celebrations for the sake of playing it safe. But I decided to show up anyway—decked out in space ball hair and an oversized jumper. And it was actually perfect.
Celebrate the good
First of all, it was perfect because I think everyone should end a killer migraine week by getting dressed up and throwing a party with people who show up to celebrate you.
But also, because of, once again, the joy of relationship…showing up and believing genuine connection is still possible, even when I feel like I have absolutely nothing to give. Because Friday, I literally had nothing to give. But I was forced to receive. And my heart was so, so, fed by it (+ the Mr. Feeny videos + choker revival + dance club appearance).
A note to my past
Thanks for introducing me to my real people. Who show up. When I have nothing to give. And also, a God that wants to do nothing more for me than just that. I had a slight glimpse of this before, and now you’ve given me years of joy-filled moments to prove it. I am incredibly grateful for you…but, I’m also not sad to say goodbye.
See you never.
And—I love you.
In the past year, has insurance made it difficult to get your migraine treatment?