Bootstraps and Buttercups

The internal dialogue of this migraineur is most likely a legit DSM -V diagnosis... or two.

Pushing through the pain

I am sure I am not the only one who argues with myself about the tolerability of the pain I am currently experiencing.

Me: "Can you see?
Also Me: "Yes...mostly"
Me: "Are you puking?"
Also Me: "No."
Me: "Then go to work! Bills aren't going to pay themselves! Pull yourself up by your bootstraps! Suck it up, buttercup! Power through the Pain!" and all that other crap we say to get through another day of feeling like a half an icepick is dangling out of your eye socket, while the half embedded in your skull is gleefully scrambling your brain.

Good times.

Where it all started

Migraine runs in my family. I had my first aura and subsequent migraine during an Algebra 2 exam my sophomore year of high school. That was 1985. Fast forward to the present day. I've tried almost every prescription medication, herbal remedy, and legal and illegal drug to help with the pain. I've tried acupuncture and even got a daith piercing because someone on the interwebs said it might help (It didn't. But it looks cool so I kept it.) I've stuck my head in bowls of ice water and over-medicated myself to the point where it scared me.

Talking to myself helps

I still get migraines. I still have auras. Although I joke about my inner dialogue, the truth of the matter is that the inner dialogue is what ends up helping me through the days of pain. The vomiting not so much. I take Phenergan for that. I have also discovered that having a twisted sense of humor helps; or do i have a twisted sense of humor because of 36 years of sporadic blindness and indescribable pain?

My advice on living with migraine

Do I have a solution to the problem of migraine? Absolutely not. What i do recommend is to be forgiving to yourself, communicate excessively with your employer, give yourself permission to be in pain, and most importantly, come to terms that you never wanted to suck up a buttercup, pull up a bootstrap, or power though the pain anyways.