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Cracked

Migraine Awareness MonthWhile I've suffered migraines since I was 12, I had never suffered like this before. It hit me that something just wasn't right when my husband said to me "You just never seem to feel well anymore." That was late 2009.

I couldn't pinpoint exactly what was wrong. It was like I was living with a migraine hangover daily in between more frequent migraines. As with most migraineurs, the problem wasn't just pain, but fatigue, diziness, and light, sound, and smell sensitivity.

I first sought treatment from a neurologist in the small town I live in, but he had no concern for migraineurs. He gave me a list of foods to avoid and sent me on my way (with a bill for his time of course.) He didn't even bother with abortives or preventatives because I said ibuoprofen would knock the pain out enough for me to rest.

I let it go for another year before my husband told me I had to do something, I couldn't keep living like this. (Yeah, my husband really looks out for me, I couldn't get through this without him.) So I asked to be referred to a neurologist in a bigger city. I had the good fortune of meeting my current neuro, who is a headache specialist.

I went in thinking I already had the answer. My headache met much of the criteria for Hemicrania. We wasted almost a full year following that path, only to find no relief. In hopes it was an out of control migraine I stayed three days at the hospital for in-patient care. Still no help.

In case my neurologist had missed something, I went for a second opinion from one of his colleagues, a professor who had taught him. He agreed my headache sounds like migraine, and reminded us that I had yet to try Botox.

6 weeks ago I had my first series of botox injections, (to the great enjoyment of my children who wondered why I would want buttocks injected into my forehead.) Again, to be disappointed, as I have seen no results from the injections.

I visited with a chiropractor, but he didn't seem convinced his care would help my headache, and for the price of the 12 sessions his treatment plan would require, I had to decline. I might look into this again, if I can ever afford it. I think my neck would benefit if not my head.

Since the Botox didn't help, and I've tried something from every class of drugs, my neurologist is out of ideas. He has recommended I try biofeedback, relaxation, and meditation.

For the moment I am filing for disability benefits. I'm also meditating and doing mild yoga. I don't take anything for the pain unless it's unbearable, maybe once or twice a month. My family has become accustomed to my absence or my inability to concentrate and my irritability. But it hurts to hear my youngest say I wish you felt better so we could go ________ or do _______(fill in the blanks with just about anything.)

I've never wanted to be average before, but If I could just suffer from the average migraine I'd be happy.

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