My Dark Room

By grapeape

1 min read

I have a place in our home that when the migraine hits, you'll find divine. It's a room that has black-out curtains on the windows and black-out blinds also.

No light dares enter this room...yes this room is called the migraine room in our home.

I have passed on my migraines to my children and they know this room as well.

Oy it makes me sad most days knowing I have caused their pain not only because I have lived it and 24/7 I have it.

But knowing that they find comfort in this room as well, solace in the dark from the pain. Ice packs help hold the pain at bay on one side of the face a pillow on the other.

I wish I could do more.. be more of comfort...other than sharing my dark room.

Share my own story

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Holly Harding Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="grapeape" user-id="3689804"/> - Love the description of your dark room! Sounds so inviting and a perfect spot for migraineurs! While it's a hard and real emotion with which we all wrestle, I hope you will push against the feeling that you truly caused migraine for your children. It is hereditary- not always- and is often passed down by many generations. It is a complex neurological condition that someone in your family above you likely had as well. Do you believe that whoever that person was caused your pain? My grandfather and aunt on one side had migraine as did a cousin on my other side. I don't feel they caused my condition. It happens- it's incredibly prevalent. 37 million people in the US alone have migraine in some form or another. Migraine causes so many symptoms and emotions - including guilt. Having migraine is not your fault. Nor are your children's migraines your fault. We aren't in control of this part of our lives. But we are in control of how we respond to migraine. You are a wondrous example of this. You've created a place of respite, restoration and rest for yourself and your children. A shelter from the migraine storm. Bravo. We are here for you and in this with you. Stay in touch- glad you're here. Warmly, Holly (migraine.com team).
Nancy Harris Bonk Moderator
Hi <inline-mention username="grapeape" user-id="3689804"/>, Thank you for sharing this with us. I understand how difficult it is to watch our children live with migraine. Both my children, now adults, have episodic migraine attacks. I gave up the guilt I was feeling, although I wrestle with it from time to time, because it's not as if I intentionally "gave" them migraine. They are unfortunate in the sense that there is a hereditary component to migraine disease. Thankfully they both have attacks infrequently. Many of us have what I like to call a migraine cave, a safe, dark space to go to when feeling horrible. Your children have a role model (you!) to show them how to cope and live with migraine disease. That is an invaluable gift! Wishing you and your family a low pain day, Nancy Harris Bonk, Patient Advocate/Moderator
Melissa Arnold Community Admin
Regarding your migraine room -- I think you will really resonate with this story Kelly shared a while ago about her own space. It's almost fun in a way to see how other people have created their own haven. You might even pick up an idea to bring into your own space! <a href='https://migraine.com/living-migraine/my-dark-room' target='_blank'>https://migraine.com/living-migraine/my-dark-room</a> Thanks for sharing so openly. It's always good for other people to see that they're not alone in experiencing a range of feelings, even when it's not positive. Hugs to you! -Melissa, <a href='https://migraine.com' target='_blank'>migraine.com</a> team
CrystalHarper Community Admin
Hi <inline-mention username="grapeape" user-id="3689804"/>, I think your migraine room sounds incredibly peaceful and I love that you've created such a wonderful space to find some relief during those especially bad days. I can only imagine how much your children appreciate it as well. I'd be willing to bet that having you there to share your wisdom and first-hand advice is something they are so grateful for! Not many people with migraine have someone so close to them who truly understand exactly what they are going through. Sending big hugs your way. Kindly, Crystal (migraine.com team)
grapeape Member
Thank you all for you awesome and kind thoughts and words. Yes my kids love my room , I just recently found out my migraines come from my dad's mother. Only found this out after she passed away. (never met her sadly) I knew my dad had them but didn't realize they ran the lineage. Makes you wonder how long they go back. Thanks