Foggy Day

Yesterday, I experienced brain fog throughout the day, not just a regular brain fog but an intensified one. It lasted the whole day. And now, the next morning, I still have it but I am able to write this as the experience is fresh in my head. Why not put it down?

What it felt like

One whole day of intensified brain fog is a big deal. Imagine your inability to do anything properly, anything at all. That too throughout the day. Often, I am unable to unclutter my head using my journal beyond a few lines in my diary. Courtesy of brain fog, it turned worse yesterday when I was barely able to finish a sentence at a time.

Wow! Even the physical act of dragging my left hand to write was a struggle. My handwriting suffered as well as I couldn’t form legible letters 8 out of 11 times.

Loss of focus

I tried reading different books on at least seven occasions and couldn’t concentrate and comprehend anything. Still, I kept trying for this is what my life has been till now — a lot of tryouts. I am conscious and mind-wise impaired all the time and it worsened yesterday. Couldn’t focus on any task. Short bursts of thoughts ran back and forth.

Couldn’t focus on listening to audiobooks. Had difficulty creating invoices for my father’s business which is a daily task for me, so simple yet struggle-some for me, and more so yesterday.

The emptiness is frightening

Yesterday mostly went in sitting and doing nothing as I felt lost and totally blank upstairs. It felt so horrible by evening time that I couldn’t help crying for a minute. Nothing terrifies me as much as this thing called brain fog and yesterday I felt helpless throughout the day.

Today, brain fog is less in intensity. Still, it’s at such a level that I can barely do much using my conscious mind for processing things that need processing and in turn leading to the application of the analyzed input.

In short, it feels like I am brain dead — a good-for-nothing fellow, an apt term that sums up what I have been told by some people in my life and made to feel so by many souls out there. Why? Maybe, they always saw my symptoms to be utter nonsense — a figment of my crazy imagination!

Please note: I wrote this a year ago during the summer of 2022.
Photo by Katie Moum on Unsplash

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