Will I ever have a life again?
I've had migraines since I was a child, I'm 48 now. I have memories of them. I'm sitting in bed with my mom next to me, rocking back and forth, crying in pain. Sometimes we'd be in the bathroom and she's holding a bucket in front of me and I'm on the toilet sick from both ends(sorry, gross) but, that's how bad they were. I couldn't have more than 9 or 10. I can still see the pink flowers on the black wallpaper go in and out of focus. I felt like they would never end and I would just rock until I finally fell asleep exhausted.
My diagnosis came around age 16. Menstrually related migraine without aura. Woohoo, something to make my monthly flow even worse. My periods were awful, 12 days long, cramps, heavy flow, and merciless migraine-like clockwork. I was given something for pain and told to rest when they happened. So basically...deal with it.
I come from a migraine family. Dad had them his whole life. Mom had them until menopause. My sister has them. Her son has them. My two daughters have them. Yes, we're all in the family here, but lucky me has it the worst these days.
Over the years I've seen lots of specialists and had several different diagnoses. One that stands out for me is when I was diagnosed with Pseudo Tumor Cerebri or PTC for short. I had several lumbar punctures(about 16 or so over 2 years) that led to that diagnosis. Which also led to have a lumbar shunt placed to drain off the excess fluid per the PTC. Well, there wasn't excess fluid, so it drained too much and I basically had a spinal headache immediately after surgery. Which continued until they got me readmitted to the hospital and in surgery again and took the shunt out. I remember bits and pieces of that week and I begged my family to kill me, the pain was so horrendous! That was in 2004.
Fast forward to the present. I'm now disabled from Chronic Migraine with Aura. I'm on my 2nd CGRP medication Emgality(Aimovig caused too much constipation). Don't know yet if it's helping yet. I also take Topamax but want to stop it if Emgality helps. I currently have daily headaches and between 4-6 migraines per week since stopping Aimovig. It had gotten me down to 3-5 but the side effects were too bad.
I just want my life back a little bit. I want to be able to do more than 1 thing per day. Maybe shower and cook, not either-or. I hope I get there again one day.
Thanks, everyone! Every day may not be good, but you can choose to find good in every day!
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