It is so hard living with migraine

I am not sure where to start. few weeks a go i quit my job. I worked as caregiver for autsim children or preschool, home health aid but kept getting hurt because i have broken wrist and other problems. I started working as a case analyst at cognosante. I had couple aniexty because i put pressure on myself. i started having bad migraine and after that it just went down hill. I would come home and cry every day from pain. I knew i didnt have much option for relief since western meds didnt work for me. I fell at work so many times and my boss told me its not worth suffering. I needed money and i had not work for a while and my husband cant support both of us and his family in Nepal. One time my husband took me to ER and got that migraine shot. It didnt help me tiny bet but i didnt wan them to keep giving me meds so i said im okay and went home. I spend 900 dollars and now my bill for ER is $1,267.00. I got ready for work next day was so dizzy and falling as i was getting ready. I called headach and spine doctor to see if they had a last min apt. They did so i went and got blood pressure and weight checked and they said my pain is high duh. They gave me 3 shots in the butt and i went to work. My work looked at me and saw how shaky and out of balance i was so i was carried by my boss and co worker to uber car and send home. I got shot at 10am and at 3 i called the doctor office to ask when the pain meds kick in. They said its already should have. Nothing worked for even a tiny relief. I went back to nuro doctor and i told him not to give me meds that treat depression or changes mood because two years a go doctor didnt listen and i almost killed myself. I repeated 4 times please please dont give me meds that affects my mood it is life threatening for me. I got meds from doctor that day and started taking and few days after i started meds i was ragful and so anger. my husband and i had a huge fight on friday and he blamed me of course and so did i. That night i spend all night researching about that meds i was taking and one of them changes my mood and makes me sducidal. I couldn’t remember what i put doctor name on my phone so i could not call him. Sat i tried to drown myself in bath tub i thought i am suffering already and having 4 to 6 panic attack from pain and now i am going crazy and i felt like a burden to my husband. my husband got home in time and got me out. I called doctor on Monday and told him what happen and that i told him not to give me meds. He looked at notes and said sorry that yes i repeated 4 times. Yes hes sorry but i could have died. I have tried 15 to 20 migraine meds and had no relief at all. Last thing left for me to try is botox. I am in constant pain and i was told i have 3 kinds of migraine and my muscle tension are really bad and that making my migraine worse. I am going to Nepal to get full treatment and detox. I have a medical bill that is never ending and i have to get back to work but i cant even walk around the house without falling so i am not in shape yet. I feel really hopeless. I can manage pain really well i had a broken wrist for 6 years and thought it was sprained and i had dinner while my dad stiched my head from car accident so i can handle pain i cant handle migrine. I feel like my head is going to explod and i will die alone. I feel like i am getting nail hammer in both of my side of temple and so much more shotting pain coming from everywhere. sorry its long.

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