Migraine, Migraine Go Away!!!

My first migraine came at 9 years old. I was alone at the time and thought I was dying. They continued to increase in intensity and frequency throughout my 20s, so now that I'm in my 30s I have approximately 15 migraines a month. I have headaches every day and migraines at least 15 days a month. I often want to cry because the pain is so intense, but crying just makes the pain worse. Somtimes the pain is so bad that I honestly repeat over and over and over, "God, please let me die! Please let me die!" Because it hurts too much to crawl to the bathroom every time I need to vomit, I curl up on the bathroom floor and sleep there.

The first time I had aura, I was scared to death because I went blind in one eye and had the shimmering globe with colored wavy lines n the other. This happened while driving, so I'm lucky I made it home!

My migraine symptoms include nausea, vomiting, stiff neck, stiff scalp (even my hair hurts, HA HA), pressure behind the eyes, pressure inside my skull, throbbing, light sensitivity, sound sensitivity, smell sensitivity, movement sensitivity, aura (sometimes), etc.

I had to drop out of school because of them. I have lost numerous jobs because of them. No one seems to understand. They think I am either crazy, lazy, or malingering. My own family believes that I am making things out to be worse than they really are so that I don't have to work as hard. That is heart-breaking for me.

It wasn't until I started having seizures that I found out migraines had treatment options other than trying to sleep them off. I've tried several prescriptions that didn't work and have finally found a daily preventative that takes the edge off so that I can function each day, despite the migraines. I also use a prescription non-narcotic emergency intervention medication for when my migraines get out of control. However, insurance only covers 8 of these pills per month. Even insurance companies do not get this illness! In general, I use rest and medication for treatment. I haven't found anything that prevents them. Medication seems to just take the edge off rather than keeping them at bay.

My triggers include hormones, stress, fatigue, and lighting. I've been recently tracking food items to see if there is a pattern there. So far, nothing. My neurologists haven't given me much hope, and that is very discouraging. They tell me that my migraines and seizures are linked, so there isn't much they can do for me except continue to treat the symptoms rather than prevent them.

More than anything, migraines have sapped my energy. Without that energy, it is hard to function and enjoy life. I miss out on so much because my life is filled with near-constant pain. I wish my migraines would just go away, but I know that isn't possible at the moment. Maybe someday medical science will find a cure. Until then, all I can do is cope the best way I can and try to enjoy the small things in life on the days I am not in pain.