Living on the Edge - My Balancing Game

I have been a migraineur for over 23 years.  When I was younger, they were much more infrequent and as my career progressed, children grew and stressors increased - so did the migraines.  I do wonder if I were to live a much more simple life as I did when my husband and I were first married - would that matter?  It's hard to think about giving up all you have worked so hard to achieve for MAYBE results.

I have seen neurologists for shots in my neck/head, have had sympathetic and not so sympathetic doctors and when things get bad enough - I head to the after hours urgent care for IV medicine.  I found my most unsympathetic doctor has migraines himself and told me just to get sick in a trash can and keep working - like REALLY?  Unreal the nerve of him.  My current regimen involves, watching everything I put in my mouth (no MSG, no alcohol, stepping down from a job where I was working 70 hours a week to 45, taking pills and trying not to stress about everyday life).  I live on Imitrex, Tylenol, Amerge and the occasional pain pill.  Medicine just does not work well and I have a headache every single day.

After the birth of my second child, I asked to have my tubes tied since I cannot take hormones without extreme pain.  I lost 75 pounds last year after gastric sleeve surgery and can only take triptans and tylenol based medicines.  I miss my other medicine.  My health is better (no high blood pressure - less joint pain) but migraines control my every decision as far as what I put in my mouth and what activities I partake in.  This is very difficult when most foods make me sick anyway from the surgery.  I avoid any artificial sweetners except Stevia (read every label).  This is very hard when the doctor wants me to eat "diet food".  When one treatment works, it is short lived and then they are back with a vengance.

I try to look at this as any other issue in my life but NOTHING else in my life can knock me down for days like migraines can.  I feel guilty for not doing as much with my kids sometimes, having my husband do so much for us when I am ill.  I don't want to be THAT Mom or THAT wife who lives in bed.  I pray for a cure daily.  The throbbing rarely goes away - and when it does I worry about the next one.  I truly believe the anxiety I suffer from stems from my migraines.

Thank you for the work you are doing here - sharing stories and providing support. 

It is so valuable to not feel alone in this struggle.